Pursuing Paradise

What is it about Florida that attracts so many - non-conformist? Or individuals living outside the norm. Normal - what does that mean? Who is to say what is normal and what is bizarre? Why Do gazillions flock to this paradise surrounded by the forces of mother nature? Her waves crash upon the shores leaving messages in the sand. And there are those that see and hear those messages and follow them with wild abandon.

And I - am here standing in the midst of all this glorious splendor and quirkiness. Apparently I fit in well although I am not traveling the streets with a British flag tied to my neck flapping in the breeze. What I do have flapping in the breeze is a sail from a long ago sailboat tied to the palms trees in my side yard. It's blue and white with the numbers 986 stamped in black print on both sides. I assume the numbers have a meaning or perhaps a message.

I placed the giant sail in the side yard to cover the turtle ponds to keep the harsh sun off the turtles. I certainly hope they appreciate my concerns for them. Speaking of turtles my yard has become a turtle haven. Is that bordering on norm? Anyways the sail makes a lovely calming sound when the wind blows and I can pretend I'm in the middle of the ocean sailing into the sunset. It's like a having an anti anxiety pill at your beck and call 24/7. It transport the mind and soul to a relaxed world. And it cost nothing and is not addicting. Or is it?

Then I have the painted pink rocking chair on my front veranda filled with old leather shoes and flowers. It's my form of recycling. In the side yard sits an old rusted red wheel borrow filled with dirt and once filled with flowers but the flowers died and the dirt sprouts pretty weeds so there she sits. The front wheel has deflated and sags precariously to the East. Until last week a huge faux clay pot sat right next to the red rusted wheel borrow minus the flowers. It housed the hose. After a few years the heat from the Florida sun melted the faux clay plot that housed the hose and she ended up in some landfill far away from here. Recycling can only go so far.

So what is it about this paradise that attracts those following the beat of a different drum. Speaking of drums I attended my first drum circle - awesome. The drums and the flapping of my sail makes a wondrous melody of music for the soul. I wonder if that is in the book 'Chicken Soup For The Soul'?

http://www.tampabay.com/news/education/k12/moon-lake-elementary-students-get-lessons-in-team-building/1118034

The Rats of NIMH

Hubby and I have reached the ultimate LOW in the entertainment department. August in Florida is somewhat like standing on the rim of hell in a Nannuck of the North furry winter jacket with a faux fox fur lined hood. We are a non animal wearing family. Except for cat dander and her excessive shedding all over the house. A little known fact about Florida - it's HOT here. Most of the time.

When daring to go outside and braving the elements we head for the pool. AAAHHH. Even after swimming laps, diving to the bottom to remove dead spiders - even after the fingers have shriveled up the pool loses its magnetic pull. What to do?

Off to Walmart and the clearance section - my all time favorite place to be on a Saturday morning watching the Walmartonians in full dress uniforms. A new one is a guy - shirtless - baggy shorts - work boots with white long socks - holding a guitar with a huge smile on his face and a British flag draped around his neck like Superman's cape. He struts his wares up and down the main street. I don't know if he is protesting BP or some of their elusive oil has penetrated his brain matter.

Back to Walmart and the clearance section. We purchased two super-soakers. For pool amusement after the fun wears out. Our new game is shooting (pool water) at the red ants and an occasional anole. How sad our existence has become that we have stooped to this level. Next we may be wrapping ourselves in a Confederate flag and skip down main street playing a flute waiting for the rats to follow us to Walmart.

Roadkill Rattlesnake

What it means to cook food well is find a nice fresh rattlesnake road kill and make some magic. After gently removing the specimen from the side of any two lane highway place it into a cooler filled with ice. Always obtain your ingredients from a proper location.

Upon returning place the juicy morsel in a slurry marinate of hand squeezed Florida orange juice with all the pulp, ground sandspurs, sea oil, sea salt, a smidgeon of lime juice, Tupelo Florida honey, diced leaves from the White Tupelo tree, ¼ cup hearts of palm, the crushed shells from two spiny lobsters and 6 and ½ cups of Florida moonshine or white lightening. When in season minced stone crab claws can be substituted for the spiny lobster shells. Florida moonshine also known as white lightening can be purchased on any rural road south of Lake Okeechobee. Marinate for approximately three weeks inside the garage refrigerator.

After marination is complete remove reptile and firmly wrap in Black Tupelo Tree leaves and place in the Florida sun for 45 minutes. The reptile concoction needs to be placed immediately in the freezer behind the frozen shrimp bait. During hurricane season use a back up generator to keep the fridge working and the beer chilled.

The rattlesnake road kill can be kept in the freezer for 24 years or till your in-laws from the north come for a two week visit. Remove the reptile from the freezer and leave to thaw overnight on the laminate countertop in the kitchen. Place a beach towel beneath the delicacy to absorb all the drippings. The towel can be used later at the local swimming hole to attract other reptiles.

Slice the reptile with a hacksaw on the tailgate of your truck. Wear your safety goggles and gloves. Have one of the kids (older than 6) light up the outdoor grill in your front yard or dig a six foot hole. Sinkholes work fairly well. Never use gasoline to start the grill. It makes the rattlesnake taste funny. After the grill has been smoking for 16 minutes place a wild boar in the bottom of the pit. Do not attempt this if you have a metal grill. The wild boar will not fit.

Place the road kill rattlesnake skin side down in the cast iron kettle. Add three cups of lard to the kettle and cook for 36 minutes. Place on a bed of seaweed plucked from the gulf side. Remove the twelve pack of Ybor Gold from the garage refrigerator and serve to all guests and in-laws before the main course.

Alternatives for cooking road kill rattlesnake – skewer the sliced reptile and place directly in the coals. This version has lower fat content and can be eaten right off the metal rods. No plated or knives are needed. This makes a wonderful tailgate picnic while camping in the Withlacoochee State Forest or on the run from the Florida Fish, Game and Wildlife Society.

Hang up and drive

I saw an amazing and rather stupid scene yesterday. A young teenager riding his bike down a very busy highway at a very high rate of speed - texting. Both of his hands were holding the phone and he was texting and looking down at his hands. OMG!!

At least he wasn't in a car. And if and when he ever does get to drive a car I am certain he will still be texting. I am always amazed at what some people will do.

Are we that much in a hurry that we can't stop for a few minutes and send a message? Or does texting consume our entire scope of life? I don't understand the whole texting bit.

Or the constant cell phone to the ear. I see people standing in line at the grocery store talking and letting the clerk wait till they are done holding up everyone else. People in the doctor's office, the movies and yes even church on the cell phones. Give me a break not a ring.

The Mosque

I am so glad to live in America and have freedom of religion - freedom of speech and all the other perks I receive for living in a FREE society. I have no thoughts of hopping in a 17 foot boat with 30 other people and traveling the rough seas to freedom. I have it right here.

I do not live in a shack or cardboard structure and find my food in the trash bins. My drinking water is not contaminated. Even if I were homeless I could stand on the street corner with my cardboard sign and beg for money or shop at the local food bank. Here there is opportunity waiting for me.

I am thankful I can go to a church of my choosing and profess my specific religion or profess my lack of religion. I can practice witchcraft and not be burnt at the stake. I can drink beer on Sunday morning instead of attending a local religious establishment or spend all day Sunday praying or singing. I have so many choices.

The Mosque near ground zero is perhaps insensitive but not a terrorist act. It is a religious freedom that we all share. Teaching tolerance should be taught in all schools along with respect and community involvement.

Those famous words - "Why can't we all just get along."

We are a selfish, greedy and inflexible group of people at times. I am thankful for the freedom that I have in this country and the people who help keep that freedom safe for all of us. If you take away my religious freedom what do I have left?

Return of the neti pot

The rain has been non-stop - the pool temperature has plummeted - and the asthma is rearing its ugly head already. I was truly hoping for an easy asthma/allergy year to begin. School has started so that aspect has some influence on my bronchial system and poorly functioning lungs. All those little hands and all those germs just waiting to find a host.

Started the neti pot this morning hoping to stave off a full scale infection. Wishing I could do a couple laps in the pool - but - way toooo cold for me. Wishing I could go for a quick walk but the foot hurts tooo bad. Woe is me - once again.

Today I am happy because..............

1. hubby is feeling better and went to work
2. at this moment in time it is not raining
3. I have my umbrella with me

So much to be happy about and then the bus and being in charge. Those not adding significantly to my high spirits will be thrown off my bus because I am the driver and I am in charge and I do not want any negativity choking me.

Twist of fate

Once again life has twisted me backwards - halfway through the day I realize that the undies are on backwards yet again. It shouldn't be that difficult to put on undergarments. I have issues with this. I know it's going to be a bad day. And - dang - it was.

Bad news - wasn't even expecting it then WHAM. Then, I remembered the underwear fiasco. Perhaps I should have turned them around? Whatever.....

The rain has not helped my disposition. I need to give myself an I.V. of positiveness. Smile, think good thoughts - blow off all that negativity or get thrown off the bus. Don't want that. Keep that stiff upper lip and positive energy flow to keep my seat on the bus.

Tomorrow is another BRIGHT and CHEERY day.

Remember to say my three happy thoughts.

1. hubby is doing fine
2. lunch was good
3. I am reading my book...........

Dedant Dedant

I have this ant problem surrounding my pool. It's those nasty little red ones that BITE. Then, the bite swells up like a giant zit and itches beyond belief with no relief. I detest the little buggers. I do not use any pesticides so getting rid of these pesky creatures is difficult. Usually I splash the pool water over them to drown them. I know it sounds cruel but a person has to do what a person has to do to survive.

Wack and crazy is what we are so off to Walmart - that was yesterday when we were exposed to the awful CRACK. That is an episode I want to forget.
So hubby and I purchase two super soakers - on clearance - of course. I picked purple he picked orange.

Yesterday we spent a good part of the day in super soaker combat with those dang little red ants. Sounds a bit bizarre but then desperate people perform desperate acts. And running around in a swimming pool shooting super soakers at tiny smidgens of ants looks demented and white coat material. But that's how we spent our Saturday. What fun we had. How creepy is that?

I'm hoping that this tactic cures our ant invasion if not we sure are having demented fun. I hope some environmental-insect- human -interest group doesn't hear about this and come after us. Well if they do they will get a squirt in the face with my super soaker.

People of Walmart

I admit I have gone to the 'people of walmart' web site and tossed a few cookies after viewing. Bright and early this morning (before breakfast) standing at the check out line in the garden center in walks a poster person for the 'people of walmart' site.

He is holing a large potted palm tree and says,"Can I leave this here while I do more shopping?"


The associate says, "Sure."
And then it happened! OMG!!!He bent over to place the potted palm on the floor and there it was. OMG!!! Right in front of our faces. A crack the size of the Grand Canyon. EEEWWWW!!!! Say NO to crack!!

I made a comment, hubby made a comment and the associate - bless her soul - rolled her eyes.

Wishing I had camera in hand to catch that masterpiece. I was so stunned I would have never been able to snap the picture.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Wet Dreams

So I had a series of what I would call 'Wet Dreams' last night. I believe it's due to the fact that school has started and the stress is mounting. A new year at school usually brings on more rules, regulations and things that just don't work. My unconscious is helping me do a brain dump at night to clear my head.

My wet dreams were about water - water - water everywhere. The car backed up into water and we got stuck. Who was driving? Not I said the passenger.
We were driving down a road alongside a body of water and the road was flooded and I was afraid the car would stall or be washed away in the flood. Who was driving? Not I said the dreamer.

Then, I was in the back seat of the truck and it was raining horses and cows - I roll down the truck window because water had seeped inside the truck. Who was driving? Not I said the back seat driver.

And then in that very instant I wake up and it's thundering and lightning and raining elephants and dinosaurs. Is there a connection to the wet dreams?
I try to interpret my dreams and I see myself in the passenger seat having very little control over the situation. Am I a victim? Do I just want a handsome attentive chauffeur? Perhaps I want to be a backseat observer? Whatever!!!

Life goes on and the dream dumps clear my mind to start a new day fresh and full of inspiration. Delusion, disgruntles and despair have all been washed away by the wet dreams.

I see them everywhere

Sometimes I feel that I am surrounded by stupid people. They seem to be everywhere. Yesterday when visiting a wonderful Florida state park a baby alligator was observed very close to the swimming area. A little boy (around 8 years old) was smacking his snoodle in the water tryng to get some type of reaction from the baby.
He received no reaction so he picks up a stick and throws it at the baby alligator. I reprimand him in no uncertain terms about abusing the gator. Standing right next to this child is his mother. She says nothing to me or her child. She didn't even tell him not to throw more sticks. Where does this responsibility lie?
So this child apparently has no boundaries and can do whatever he wants. I wonder what will happen as he gets older?
Then while tubing down a crystal clear river where no disposable items are allowed I see two people smoking - and where did the butts go? Most of the property along the river is posted with 'PRIVATE PROPERTY NO TRESPASSING SIGNS' - did this curtail others from climbing on to private docks and jumping off. NO!
What is wrong with people? Or is it me?

Dragging the line

I feel the need to vent! I was unjustly accused by 'him that shall not be named but he knows who he is' for misplacing or just out and out loosing one pair of L.L. Bean jeans. Yes, during our wonderful summer road trip I did do the laundry. Halfway through the adventure we ran out of clean clothes. There never was the option to buy new clothes and toss the dirty ones in the trunk due to the fact that we were traveling in the baby car. Gas prices!

So the only solution was to wash the stinky smelly clothes. Upon returning home from our marvelous adventures he who will still not be named said - "Where are my L.L. Bean pants?"

Well it's not like I wear them or packed your suitcase. There was the implication that 'I' was the one that caused their disappearance. So, made a few calls trying to track down the L.L. Bean pants and came up with nothing-nado-nuttin. Still the implications were directed at me for my loss of clothing that of course did not belong to me and really was not my responsibility to be in charge of said pants.

So this morning as we are getting ready to depart for yet another wild and wacky Florida adventure - he who still remains nameless says," Oh look I found my pants in my underwear drawer."

Yes, I do the laundry at home and ALL clean items are placed in a laundry basket and placed on 'he who will not be named' his side of the bed. So - remove that look from your face - step up and accept the blame and place it where it should truly go.

And we had an awesome tubing adventure down the Rainbow River in water temperatures of 72 degrees and air temperatures of about 95. A good choice for today's activities.

Dragging the line by Tommy James and the Shondells.

There's a frog on my umbrella

Lately when I've been sitting outside I hear noises and it sounds like it's coming from the roof. I'm thinking it's a wayward squirrel using my roof as a shortcut to the oak trees in the neighbors yard. Then the dark thoughts come and I have visions of that hawk that's been hanging around the turtle pond. Just the other day I saw him flying low over the side yard. Do hawks eat turtles? I don't know. I sure hope not.

Then the mind wanders into fantasy land and I think it may be a family pet reptile that someone has let escape (on purpose) into the wilds of suburbia. Stranger things have happened. And when some snakes get too big the owners let them go. Many release them in the Everglades but you never know what people will do.

Bright and early this morning before the sun begins to make an appearance - I'm out swimming in the pool and I hear a noise. I stop dead in my tracks - actually that would be dead in my swim strokes. I'm as still as the dead spider floating around in the pool. I hate spiders. I better scoop him out.

I hear the noise again. I get sissy girl scared and get out of the pool. As I'm wrapping myself with the towel - I see it. There's a frog on the top of my umbrella and he's just hopping away having the time of his life. OOOHHHHH - a sign of relief.

With wind

Being an Irish Goddess has its blessings and a very small-teeny-tiny down side.

An Old Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.



May the road rise up to meet you. To me this line says to me I will trip on an uneven sidewalk. Or get stuck in traffic with road construction or have the joy of being behind a slow poke. Or I am driving a tad over the speed limit and right there is the speed trap. OOOPS!

That line about the wind being at your back sounds poetic and soft and sweet - but it isn't always what it seems. Like the tropical storm buzzing up the Gulf of Mexico. It has dispersed the wonderful sunshine and has darkened the sky's for several days. Not so good for me for my last days of freedom before school starts. And how will this mix with gulf oil spill?

Occasionally I have had the wind against my back - like BAM. Wow - wasn't expecting that.
The wind slips in without much notice and slams dead straight on in the middle of the back. Punches all the air out of my already deficient lungs. Knocks me down - face first. Then the roll down hill begins - slipping fast into that deep dark gully. The only hope could be that the landing field is soft as clouds.



May the sun shine upon your face? Causing sunburn and total discomfort. What the sun is bad - causes wrinkles and cancer. Your skin is froze off, cut off and stitched up leaving that horrendous tell tale ugly scar.


The rain could be a good thing or a bad thing. right now for my jasmine it's a good thing. For the pool that is at overflow level it is a bad thing.

God holding you in the palm of his hand. Would I fit?

STOP in the name of love

STOP in the name of love - before I get a ti- i -ket - and pay a fine. Supreme!

I'm sure you have seen those red octagon signs with letters that say S T O P. When driving most of us know this means to step on the brake pedal to bring the car to a stop - a complete stop. There are some drivers who think the STOP sign is an accessory to the landscape.

So hubby (sweetheart that he is) occasionally has the afflictions of CRS, old tymers disease, lost in space attitude and hep me-hep me. On this particular day while touring and staying at one of Florida's finest state parks he blows through one of those STOP signs. He was driving at about 2 miles an hour in a campground on a dirt road with absolutely no traffic. He just slid around that curve and he did look to the left and drove right by a state trooper sitting there waiting for his catch of the day.

I wonder why he wasn't out looking for drug smugglers or bank robbers? But there he was sitting by the STOP sign just waiting for some excitement. He turns on his red lights and pulls us over. He was very nice - even though he has been assigned to STOP sign duty at a state park with little congestion. I wonder who he pissed off to get this boring assignment? Hubby told the nice trooper he didn't even notice the STOP sign. Honesty is a good rule. He was given a written warning.

I sat next to him blabbering about being more attune to his environment and just plain paying attention to the outside world he lives in.

Yesterday, I was off to the mall. I drove around the almost deserted parking lot way around to the back of the mall. One finds more empty spaces on the back side. There are about a dozen STOP signs in this mall parking lot - half of which are in the back 40acres. Yes, I stopped for every dang one of them. So way back in the back corner I see a police car - just sitting and watching those STOP signs.

I think he's watching me and then I contemplate what the speed limit is in a mall parking lot? Have I seen a speed limit sign? I get nervous about him sitting back there so far from a Dunkin Donuts. Perhaps he too has been punished and has been assigned parking lot STOP sign duty. But yet - criminals roam the street while deputy dog sits in a car watching for STOP sign offenders. STOP in the name of love before you get a ti - i - ket.

Inside, Outside, Upside Down

Today, I am here all alone. OMG!! It is wonderful. Not that I don't enjoy being around hubby - I love you snookums! But the thought of doing nothing, doing only what I choose to do is a fantabulous feeling. I can listen to Van Morrison all day. That's what I'm doing right now.

Took a swim, ate my bifidus regularus, pulled some weeds, drank way too much coffee, started the laundry, talked to the kid, talked to the neighbor, said hello to Tuffy, went swimming again, fed the turtles, searched for a travel trailer online and sat outside to absorb the lovely sunshine and the quiet of the neighborhood.

Pretty dull. But then again dull can be inspiring. Sometimes my CRS takes over.

Yesterday we stopped at Camping World on on way to the Airstream dealer and I was in dire need of the facilities. I have started wearing sports bra's - so comfy. Visually they are not too impressive. This summer I purchased this awesome shirt from Columbia (I love Columbia clothes). The orange shirt is a tad low cut and almost but not quite off the shoulders. So, I slip on my pink sports bra - what was I thinking? Pink and orange? Whatever!

So on my exit from the facilities at Camping World,while washing my hands because you never know what kind of germs are in a public facility, I look in the mirror and OH what horrors are there to scare me. I've got the stupid pink sports bra on inside out. And the entire world has seen my faux pau clothing mistake. I am horrified.

I slip back in the stall taking care of what items I touch, they could be infested with fecal matter or other icky stuff. I take off my orange Columbia shirt stuff it inside my shorts so I don't have to place it on any object inside the stall and correctly replace the pink sports bra. I pull my orange shirt out of the waistband of my shorts and slip it back on.

I exit the stall taking great care to not touch anything. So, should I wash my hands again? This was another of my missteps. I didn't wash. Strike me dead.

I search for hubby inside the showroom at Camping World. It's a small store so it was not too difficult. I reprimand him for not telling me my pink sports bra was on inside out. He just gives me that look. Then he laughs and gives me another one of his looks. Then I realize - NOW - I have my orange Columbia shirt on inside out - tags showing. Back to the facilities and this time I will wash and check out my appearance in the mirror.

So the quiet and dullness of today will be a blessing.

Here Kitty-Kitty

My plans for today - tubing down the Rainbow River have been scrapped - dashed - washed away. It's raining - has been like all day long. The last day before school starts and I sit at home twiddling my thumbs. I mean one could get wet tubing down the river in the rain. I think the rain may stir up the gators - don't want to do that!

Well, it's thundering so lightening can't be too far behind. Dang, I really wanted to go to escape this inferno. Probably a good thing the rain interfearred and the fact that I watched Nat. Geo and the salt water crocs that have been attacking people. It was Australia but they could swim here. So I would have been on pins and needles thinking about the crocs and my toes hanging over the side of a tube. That small tube a croc or a gator could deflate with one small yawn.

So instead I did something more productive. I started the plan for next summer. Always trying to be proactive. Went looking for an airstream trailer to take up into the North Carolina mountains. After the sticker shock $70,000.00 I am thinking about plan B. I may have to sleep on that.

Phobias

So we purchased this new weed wacker this morning. The front lawn was looking mighty ragged and I didn't want a nasty gram from the HOA. We had a nice weed wacker but the kid borrowed it to use at the girlfriends grandmother's house. And that was the end of our weed wacker.

I wanted to be the first one to use the weed wacker - I go inside and put on my bathing suit with an appropriate cover - so as not to scare the neighbors. Away I go - weed wacker bliss. I'm out by the palm tree and the string hit something and it flew out and hit me in the right knee. Ouch. I'm guessing that's why you wear long pants when wacking weeds.

After I almost break the new weed wacker I take a dip in the pool. It's so easy all I do is drop my top and jump in. Well, all those weeds were kind of sticking to my body like glue. No problem - they all came off in the pool. Hopefully the skimmer is working today.

My knee hurts so I check it out. There is this huge humongous bruise and raised lump on my kneecap. Dang! Shoulda worn long pants - you fool. My mind starts rolling - not always a good sign. I'm thinking this bruise will turn into a blood clot - break loose and go directly to my heart and I will drop dead in a nanno second. Just like all those television shows I watch. Maybe I should stop watching television and do something productive.

I am so over the new weed wacker. I think I'll read a book and chill by the pool that is full of small green weeds.

Rocket Man

I witnessed this amazing, unbelievable and quite disgusting incident yesterday in the turtle pond. I was feeding the guys brine shrimp - a treat for them. Normally they get tadpoles but for some odd reason this year we have no tadpoles in the front pond. It's a mystery. So I bought them brine shrimp.

They have to chase the little suckers around the pond which offers them exercise and a chance to do some real hunting for their food. I love watching them. But this day the watching turned into a little bit of gross me out - gag me with a spoon episode.

One of the guys lets out this stream of poop. It came out his back end like a rocket. Flew out so fast it caused a ripple in the pond. And there was a lot of that stuff and it flew halfway across the pond there was soooo much force. I never thought their would be so much force. Actually I never even considered what a turtle pooping would look like.

Anyway it was a sight to behold. I'm hoping I never witness this again. The incident reminded me of the hippo at Homassassa Springs. They have a sign that warns people about standing clear of the splatter zone. I witnessed that explosion one time. A memorable vision. Some things just amaze me.

Cheeseburger in Paradise

I blew out my flip-flop when I stepped on a pop rock. Shouldn't have been in the water - waiting for the incision to heal. Wastin away again...

Went to Ponce De Leon State Park in the Florida panhandle last week. Almost time to go back to school so needed to get in one more weekend of fun. The problem was I was still healing from the surgery and was banished from getting my foot wet. What an enema dilemma.

When we arrived at the springs it was hotter than Africa. Sticky, icky kind of hot. The springs were crystal clear and absolutely beautiful. I couldn't help myself. I went in against doctors orders. Well the springs looked so pure and the water flow from the head spring was gallons a minute so the situation looked good.

68 degree crystal clear water and a day as hot as Africa - it was awesome. And the fact it is referred to as the 'Fountain of Youth'. Who could possibly resist. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. It was sooo refreshing.

So, I'm walking down the overflow to the springs wearing my dollar flip flops that I bought at Dollar General so I don't step on any thing or get sand in my incision and I popped my flip flop on a rock. Life is tuff when you pop your flip flop. Now I so understand Jimmy's song - Margaritaville.

Distant Drums

I received another advertisement in the mail today. They have gone past looking inside my arteries they are looking at my future. It's a rather scary future. I have been offered insurance to cover my care when I am no longer able to care for myself. What? I have a long way to go before I am plopped into a nursing home facility. And when I am my brain will be so on another planet I probably won't even care I am given jello everyday.

Insurance for long term care? You marketeers need to do more in depth surveys and contact (or harass) the correct population. I am light years away from retirement.

Maybe we could save a few hundred thousand trees by not turning them into advertisement brochures. Or at least use recycled paper. When us folks to get to that nursing home age we will need all that paper to write long letters to our children who have forgotten us.

At least with the mail advertisements I can shred them and use them as mulch as opposed to calls during dinner that push me over the edge. Yes, I am on the Do Not Call list but sometimes they get through.

My rant for today is over!

1.I am happy I go to the doctors today to get a final okay on the foot. I'm hoping he doesn't notice I did not follow his directions and finally had to go in the water. It wasn't my fault - too hot here not to take advantage of spring water at a cool 68 degrees. And oh - so clear and pure. I'm hoping he will accept that excuse.

2.I'm happy hubby made an excellent breakfast for me this morning.

3.I'm happy my friend is no longer unemployed.

FREE Speech

Yesterday in my mailbox I received this flyer with my name printed on it. These mail flyer's are getting right up there next to telemarketers calling at dinner time.
This particular flyer with my name on it sports this huge color image of a clogged artery. Pretty gross. The text right next to the disgusting image states - We can actually see inside YOUR arteries - to help prevent strokes, aneurysms and cardiovascular disease.

Okay who gave you the right to look inside at MY arteries. Isn't there a law against this? Invasion of privacy - the HIPPA law. I know as Americans we have the right of FREE speech and freedom of the press. But this is way over the top.

Get out of my arteries. Stop scaring me.

Then at the bottom of the brochure it states that I must get tested immediately to save myself from sudden death. There is a charge for this service. $199.00 if you act immediately. I am urged to call an 800 number to get tested.

Wait this isn't even my artery. This is a scare tactic used to remove my dwindling cash from my hands.

Since they cannot harass us on the telephone anymore they have decided to harass us by mail. With colored photos of diseased arteries. What's next? A color picture of my filled colon?

Services for Sale

Back in the horse and buggy days there were these salesmen of sorts or today we refer to them as entrepreneurs. They sold just about everything - from elixir to rain sales. Your town needs rain just call on these 'rainmakers' and they will come - chant -dance - sing - shake their booties and bring rain.

I think it worked? If not they probably hung them high from the nearest tree. But how can anything grow without water? They probably just ran them outta town.

So I believe hubby and I could be modern day rain makers. If some town, county or state needs rain - just hire us to come camping. You can bet your last dollar that it will rain.

Spent a lovely weekend in the panhandle of Florida and yep - it rained. It rained and soaked all of our camping stuff and us. I'm sure glad all the people in tents did not know about our ability to bring rain. We would have been chased out of the campground for sure.

So how do we monopolize on this wonderful talent that we possess? Advertise? Have our truck wrapped with the message and an 800 number to call for services, put an ad on Craigs List?

Perhaps we should just enjoy this talent that we have and keep it a secret.

Florida panhandle

I have this list of one million and three things I need to do before I die. This weekend I crossed one of those things OFF my list. Been there - did that - never want to do that again!
It's not a paper and pencil list, it's a head list. I keep it inside my brain - that could be why I have CRS.

So this weekend I got to cross off 'camping in Florida during the summer'. HOT, does not even describe the weekend. On the beach I was expecting a breeze but all we got was the hazmat people scooping up oil on the beautiful white sandy beaches on the panhandle.

The Florida panhandle has also been referred to as the Redneck Riviera. Oh boy is that statement true. Confederate flags all over the place - scary.

I also added to my list another destination in Florida. Seaside, Florida is a planned community and they planned it wonderfully. It is most likely one of the most friendliest places I have been except a car dealership. On the negative side it was a little like the Stepford Wives.

I saw an entire family, mom, dad and four boys dressed in khaki shorts and a cream colored top. Interesting!

Anyhow - no more Florida camping during the summer months. Even with air condition in the camper. Just tooooo hot. I bet I would have felt differently in a sweet condo in Seaside w/pool for only a thousand bucks a day. Although staying at a luxury condo with a pool and a pool boy is no where near the term CAMPING. That's why Seaside is my number 6,355 on my way to one million and three.