Waiting for a plane

I'm sitting at the airport waiting for my sisters' flight to arrive (three hours late) trying to get into the holiday spirit. Spending three hours at the airport waiting on a plane is not the most glorious time. After devouring ice cream (way too expensive) buying Florida nick nacks and pacing the floors I plopped my weary body down next to Gate E. There was a family singing Christmas carols holding signs and a group of people standing really close to the gate with lots of loud voices. I listened and saw an amazing act.

My heart melted into a puddle of pudding - right there by Gate E.
I saw people holding 'Welcome Home' signs, kids and adults waving American flags and retired men in military dress saluting military individuals coming through the gate.

The retired personnel announced the branch of service the individual was in and shouted 'Welcome Home'. Then all the onlookers clapped. It was awesome.

A young injured army man walked down the aisle of Gate E leaning on his cane. This is when my puddle became a roaring river. The clapping and cheering boomed inside the busy airport lounge. My heart turned over with admiration and relief - they are home. The waiting no longer seemed boring and unproductive.

Invasion of the body snatchers

At this point in time I am taking an oral prednisone/steroid, an inhaled prednisone/steroid and yesterday an injected prednisone/steroid. Perhaps I can be the next Hulk with all of this steroid being pulsed into my body. Reading the literature it states the evil side effects like suppressing your immune system. HHHMMMM. Don't I need my immune system to fight off all the bad stuff that enters my body?

I am in desperation mode to fight off this asthma - naturally. I keep hitting that brick wall and continue to get sicker and sicker. There must be a better way. All the drugs seem to do nothing. I am taking so many vitamins and supplements and medications that I need a giant pill box to contain them.

Frustration is my shadow and my shadow seems to be overtaking me. I keep fighting this battle that continues to go downhill. I keep painting on the positive face and searching for answer that never work. I want to overcome this boil of despair and toss all the drugs that I am dumping into my body. And most important I want to obtain an immune system that fights off the bad gunk invading my body.

Begin with the end in mind

It's an awesome morning in Florida as fall sweeps across the sand dunes and sand spurs. A dip in the pool has completely shaken the sleepiness from me. I recline on the chaise in the lanai and look dreamily up at the sky littered with so many twinkling stars and planets.

The morning darkness is still lurking like a feral cat with a cool breeze (some Floridans think 70 is cool) rippling across my body. The quiet and serenity wraps me in a soft cocoon. I count the shining stars and search for the big dipper. Total silence fills my space and I enjoy every second of the peacefulness.

The blinking of the stars lulls me off to dreamland. I take in deep Yoga breaths and my body becomes a feather light vessel. I could stay in this position forever with the breeze and darkness and the stillness soaking in the beauty of the morning. Coffee calls me but I cannot leave this wonderful tranquil space where morning has greeted me with the gems of the earth.

Ballet blunder

I need to remember not to point fingers, or make judgements against others behaviors and actions. Do not criticize - empathise.

I've possibly lost my marbles, gone round the bend or had a senior moment. It was a busy weekend but that is NO excuse. I have no one to blame except for my memory lapse.

Hubby and I were going to the strip mall (there are so many in Florida) pay on the New Years cruise, go to the tractor supply and a few other errands.
We are traveling down the road and suddenly I look down at my feet.....Hello....
I have on my grungy old house slippers. LOL.... and we are about to enter a public domain where everyone can see me.

What to do? I slump around in those ratty old slippers and can feel the laughing/mocking eyes upon my slipper clad feet. Then I see the new TCBY and cannot contain my self. We go inside and splurge on yogurt. There I sit for the whole world to see me eating yogurt in a pair of threadbare house slippers.

Turn the car around

I wish I had the power to fix the world. If I did I would wave my magic wand over the earth and watch it blossom. I would sprinkle fairy dust over those I love to make everything all better. I don't have that power and my loved ones seem lost and drifting in a sea of cloudy water - falling to the bottom.

My shoulders are buckling from the burden of their issues. The weight upon me is squashing my soul. If only I could turn the car around - just like the song -
Shattered. Need a change from this burn out town. Stumble around in the pouring rain. No umbrella - no safety net - no shelter.

I sit and contemplate the issues that burn inside my thoughts and why HOW does this happen again and again.

What to do - what to do? How many times do I break till I shatter? I always turn the car around, Why can't they turn the car?