Dedant Dedant

I have this ant problem surrounding my pool. It's those nasty little red ones that BITE. Then, the bite swells up like a giant zit and itches beyond belief with no relief. I detest the little buggers. I do not use any pesticides so getting rid of these pesky creatures is difficult. Usually I splash the pool water over them to drown them. I know it sounds cruel but a person has to do what a person has to do to survive.

Wack and crazy is what we are so off to Walmart - that was yesterday when we were exposed to the awful CRACK. That is an episode I want to forget.
So hubby and I purchase two super soakers - on clearance - of course. I picked purple he picked orange.

Yesterday we spent a good part of the day in super soaker combat with those dang little red ants. Sounds a bit bizarre but then desperate people perform desperate acts. And running around in a swimming pool shooting super soakers at tiny smidgens of ants looks demented and white coat material. But that's how we spent our Saturday. What fun we had. How creepy is that?

I'm hoping that this tactic cures our ant invasion if not we sure are having demented fun. I hope some environmental-insect- human -interest group doesn't hear about this and come after us. Well if they do they will get a squirt in the face with my super soaker.

First Aid For Dummies

I'm working out in the yard on the turtle habitat wearing my well worn Crocs and WHAM. A searing stabbing pain hits my right foot just above the Croc line. I look down and there is this ugly fire ant the size of a small dog biting my ankle. The pain is horrific.

I take off my well worn Croc and start wacking the montster. I beat him savagely and still he clings to my ankle. The pain escalates. I scream, yell and jump up and down. I have no idea what the neighbors are thinking and I really don't give a dumb. Child birth was less painful than this.

Finally, hubby comes to my rescue and knocks me to the ground and starts rolling me across the lawn.

"Stop," I scream, "I'm not on fire. You do the stop, drop and roll when someone is burning."

Although I feel like I'm on fire and the pain is almost unbearable. We beat the ant with wild abandon. At last the demon is dead. My ankle swells instantly and turns red and hurts like hell.

I run inside and search the bathroom for pain relief. Nothing, nada, not even alcohol. I run to the kitchen and search for baking soda. Nuttin. What's wrong with my first aid essentials? The pain increases. Out of total desperation I grab the Saline Nasal Solution and spray away on my throbbing ankle. Wow - the pain stops. Who knew? This bottle goes directly into my empty First-Aide kit.