Silence is not always Golden

Yesterday, I had my third foot surgery within a sixth month period. On the same foot...........Needless to say I am not a happy camper. Life rolls along. I should be focusing on the positive aspects of this.....hhhmmmmm. What could they be? Stop whining and think good thoughts.
Okay, perhaps this will be the final surgery. YES!!!!! Much better attitude.

So there I was laying on that chair/table operating piece of equipment and it seemed very high in the air and who would be afraid of heights - ME. I tried not to look way far down or up at the table filled with medical instruments like scissors, blades, scalpels, tweezers, needles and sutures. Speaking of needles the needle the doctor was attempting to use looked like it could take down an elephant. And it was coming toward the bottom of my foot. Time to faint.

I have been through this procedure once before where my doctor operated on my arch right there in his office in a mini operating room. Brings back terrifying thoughts. He states it's safer not to put me all the way under with anesthesia. Not easier or less painful. But - who is the one on the table? Me. Not the good doctor.

The needle and the pain it causes is beyond nice words so I can't say how I really felt but one could use many four letter words and potty mouth words to describe it. And that gigantic needle stuck in the very tender part of my foot hurt like hill. Yes, I screamed and whimpered like a greased piggie. Right now after the fact it raises the hair on the back of my neck. The good doctor apologizes throughout the painful ordeal but lets me know it only hurts for a little while. Yeah - it's not him on the operating chair/table. My foot is now numb.

So the surgery goes off and is over and done with in a short amount of time. Then, the good doctor shows me the removed offending piece of meat. Red and ugly and bloody. Now that's something to make your day. I will never again eat red meat.........

Now lace up the incision time. He draws the black sutures up and holds it high in the air. I really don't need to be watching him thread another needle, so I count the holes in the ceiling tiles instead. I get to number 99 and feel a little pinch on the bottom of my foot. OMG!!!!! The numbness injection is wearing off and I can feel that needle piercing my skin. YIKES!!!!

Okay, my options would be to tell the good doctor that I am feeling a little sensation on the bottom of my foot every time that needle slices into my pink tender epidermis. And he would most likely plunge that big needle into the bottom of my foot again. No way in hill. I keep my mouth tightly clamped and bite my tongue. Sometimes silence is golden even though there is a little bit of pain.

Day Two - post op.

Two days out from the foot surgery - hurts like hill!!!! Did not expect this much discomfort - dang!!! The Tylenol extra strength just doesn't touch it. Afraid to try the real stuff the doctor gave me. I am such a wimp.

Got out of bed today and put on clothes - no more jammies all day for me. Am scooting around the house on the rolling computer chair. The crutches hurt the underarms an awful lot.

The toes moved a half of an inch - still no feeling in the toes or the whole foot except for all the pain. I guess I won't be running in the Boston Marathon.
Bored - bored - bored. This will be a very long six weeks.

Here Come Dah Judge

So my first day in court on my new job and I'm wanting to make a GOOD impression. Judges scare me a little - just a little - actually a whole bunch. I wore a very conservative looking suit - very professional. My hair was okay. I wore cutesie little pumps instead of my bright pink Crocs. I was ready to roll.

I forgot the briefcase (that would have been VERY professional) and ended up hand carrying the massive file. It weighed in about ten pounds. I carefully start to get out of my car and my coordination always somewhat out of kilter drops a notch. Must have been those cutesie pumps. I start to weave toward the pavement - face first.

Lucky for me I save the day and don't go flat on my face or spread eagle. I must have spastic muscles or something funky like that because my arms fly up and out - still holding that 10 pound file and it slides ever so slowly across my face. But I did not hit the ground - a great save I thought.

I strut proudly toward the courthouse. Then, the side of my face begins to sting. The pain is awful and I don't deal kindly with pain. I hold tight to the ten pound file and with my right hand I reach up and touch the pained face. I look at my hand in absolute horror. There is blood dripping down my fingertips. OMG!!! I'm bleeding to death on the court house steps.

I keep my hand on the side of my face and try to be discreet as I drop the ten pound file, two cell phones and my car keys into the plastic bin the security guard holds out for me. At this point in time I have dripped blood all over one of the cell phones and the corner of the ten pound file. I kept my hand firmly placed on my face to contain the deluge of blood.

I walk through the metal detector praying that it doesn't go off and they force me to do some strip search. The deputy gives me a strange look but lets me pass. I walk down the hall leaving a trail of blood in my wake. I sneak into the ladies room to assess the damage.
Oh, yuck, half of my cheek skin is gone. She's bleeding like a stuck pig and court starts in 20 minutes. I grab a paper towel and dab at my pathetic face. Hurts like hell. The bleeding continues. I grab another paper towel dampen it and hold it hard against my damaged cheek.
I get into the elevator with more strange looks. I can hear their thoughts -'that bimbo's going to make a great impression in the court room.'

I slip into Court Room 3B and take a seat in the back. I push the soggy paper towel against my throbbing cheek. I will not cry. For some wonderful unknown reason my case was delayed for an hour. I rush back to the bathroom to attend my wound and my bruised ego. Wouldn't I make a GREAT first impression with my face all bandaged up like a mummy.
The bleeding stops but the side of my face is ugly, red and bruising. Maybe the judge won't notice.

My time has come and I walk sideways to the table right in front of the judge. I try to turn my body so he cannot see the damage. I feel like a fool. I turn my notes over to the attorney and see the bright red stains along the edge. She says nothing. I shrink a little in my seat. I feel like the judge is staring at my wounded face. The case is rescheduled and I make a beeline for the door and my cutesie little pump catches the corner of the chair. I fall flat like a pancake.

First Aid For Dummies

I'm working out in the yard on the turtle habitat wearing my well worn Crocs and WHAM. A searing stabbing pain hits my right foot just above the Croc line. I look down and there is this ugly fire ant the size of a small dog biting my ankle. The pain is horrific.

I take off my well worn Croc and start wacking the montster. I beat him savagely and still he clings to my ankle. The pain escalates. I scream, yell and jump up and down. I have no idea what the neighbors are thinking and I really don't give a dumb. Child birth was less painful than this.

Finally, hubby comes to my rescue and knocks me to the ground and starts rolling me across the lawn.

"Stop," I scream, "I'm not on fire. You do the stop, drop and roll when someone is burning."

Although I feel like I'm on fire and the pain is almost unbearable. We beat the ant with wild abandon. At last the demon is dead. My ankle swells instantly and turns red and hurts like hell.

I run inside and search the bathroom for pain relief. Nothing, nada, not even alcohol. I run to the kitchen and search for baking soda. Nuttin. What's wrong with my first aid essentials? The pain increases. Out of total desperation I grab the Saline Nasal Solution and spray away on my throbbing ankle. Wow - the pain stops. Who knew? This bottle goes directly into my empty First-Aide kit.

Beyond Pain

So, the side of my face is a bit swollen and very warm to the touch. The pain intensifies with every movement I make. My dental appointment is tomorrow - thank you - thank you. Popping pills seems to have no effect on the source of the pain. I know I have waited way too LONG. My bad!!!

I dislike (pretty much hate) going to the dentist. I have major panic attacks just thinking about it. Recently I have found if I take my IPOD and turn the volume way up - it helps. I procrastinate and then pay the price.

Perhaps it would be better to have false teeth - after all George Washington had a set of wooden chompers. I wonder if he ever got splinters? I wonder if they were laminated like the new floors that shine so bright? You just snap them together for a perfect fit.

The pain is too intense to think and write clearly so off to lala land I go.

The Tooth

There is nothing quite like a tooth ache. I despise going to the dentist - so I wait till it's usually too late. I wait till the pain is unbearable and then I call. I have this aversion to dentistry in general - one of those childhood nightmares.

Several years ago while on vacation (yes, it was a weekend) I had an abcess on one of my teeth. Every emergency we seem to have happens on a weekend. Why is that? The procedure always cost more if you can find a medical person available. Or you suffer great distress for the entire weekend. Even when our animals get sick or hurt - it's on a weekend or after hours. The cost of an emergency visit is unbelievable.

OMG. I feel like I am to that point again. I hate to call but I know I have to call. I been popping the pills but it doesn't even touch the pain.

I wonder how people coped with this awful hurt and pain before they had access to dentistry? Did the blacksmith really pull out the culprit with his pliers? Ouch! The longer I ignore the problem the bigger it will become. I will try to shut my childhood traumas in the closet and face the demons.