Speedy Gonzalas

I've heard the saying that 'some one was dealt a bad hand.' Well, I have been dealt a bad left foot. First the sole problem that has been nagging at me for months is finally healing and now another new curse on the top of my foot. When will the madness end?

Today was a day off but seemed more like 'speed dating'. Not that I have ever done 'speed dating' but others have told me about the drama. So today my day off kinda sorta became speed doctoring day. Four doctors in 8 hours - that must be a record. I wonder if the Guinness Book of Records has that category?

Snipped and scraped at the first doctor, blasted in the mouth by the dentist, poked and prodded by my primary care doctor and more cutting at the podiatrist. Woe is me. And a few bucks shorted - actually a whole lotta bucks shorter.

Tomorrow will be a better day no more speed doctoring and paying out the big bucks. I can't the well is done gone dry. Time for a fantabulous moon dance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNsmF9JTpuI

Dental dilemnas

You just know it's going to be a bad day when - suddenly - you realize that you have put on your underwear inside out and you have a dentist appointment. This is never-never a good sign. Especially bad when you hate the dentist more so than having your toenails ripped off during a wedding reception.

I would rather hang upside down over an alligator pit than go to the dentist. Early life trauma must have scarred me for life. Either with the dentist or inside out underwear - not quite sure.

So the reality of the situation hits you smack in the face when you realize the underwear mistake. Is your mind befuddled due to the dentist appointment that is only for a cleaning but still it's in the dentist office with drills and things that go bump and then there are all those stupid questions he asks you when the drill bit is drilling inside your mouth.

Do that teach that technique in dental school? Hello - Mr. Dentist but do you really expect me to give an audible answer? I must say my dentist knows about my phobia and is easy on me. If he was aware of the way I dress myself perhaps he would not be so congenial.

I have redressed myself but still have that nauseous feeling in the back of my throat that may or may not exit in the dental chair. Now that I am placing my fears and phobias in print I feel worser! Worser is much more worse than worse. It's the worsest! Well, actually going to the dentist is worsefull and to think it is just a cleaning. At least my panties are not in a knot just my intestines.

Smile Pretty

Yesterday, I went for yet another crown. Not the kind you slip on your head. This is a lovely porcelain fixture that sits on a metal stump inside my mouth. Why they drill that tooth down to nothing is beyond me? They refuse to extract a tooth - it must be saved they preach. Right now I have more money invested in my mouth than my house in Florida.
I wonder if I should insure my mouth like I do my car? It has more value than my 4 year old car. Housing prices have dropped below the high water mark, car values plummet with excess mileage and the cost of groceries is over the hedge. But dental work continues to rise while our health insurance continues to pay less and the premiums go up.
False teeth are so much cheaper than root canals and crowns. Perhaps I could use my pricey revamped teeth as collateral when I purchase a new vehicle? Maybe I should have been a dentist.
A dental experience for me is always traumatic and expensive. I would say much like negotiating the purchase of a new car with aggressive sales people. I'm not sure the word 'people' is appropriate but to use profanity would be wrong.
Today we make a decision on our future. I'm hoping the new administration finds a cure for the cost of health insurance, the housing market, unemployment and a gagillion other problems facing our country. And there should be a law - punishable - by imprisonment for any dentist that asks you a question while your mouth is wide open with a drill inside and a clamp on your tongue and expect an audible answer.

Beyond Pain

So, the side of my face is a bit swollen and very warm to the touch. The pain intensifies with every movement I make. My dental appointment is tomorrow - thank you - thank you. Popping pills seems to have no effect on the source of the pain. I know I have waited way too LONG. My bad!!!

I dislike (pretty much hate) going to the dentist. I have major panic attacks just thinking about it. Recently I have found if I take my IPOD and turn the volume way up - it helps. I procrastinate and then pay the price.

Perhaps it would be better to have false teeth - after all George Washington had a set of wooden chompers. I wonder if he ever got splinters? I wonder if they were laminated like the new floors that shine so bright? You just snap them together for a perfect fit.

The pain is too intense to think and write clearly so off to lala land I go.

The Tooth

There is nothing quite like a tooth ache. I despise going to the dentist - so I wait till it's usually too late. I wait till the pain is unbearable and then I call. I have this aversion to dentistry in general - one of those childhood nightmares.

Several years ago while on vacation (yes, it was a weekend) I had an abcess on one of my teeth. Every emergency we seem to have happens on a weekend. Why is that? The procedure always cost more if you can find a medical person available. Or you suffer great distress for the entire weekend. Even when our animals get sick or hurt - it's on a weekend or after hours. The cost of an emergency visit is unbelievable.

OMG. I feel like I am to that point again. I hate to call but I know I have to call. I been popping the pills but it doesn't even touch the pain.

I wonder how people coped with this awful hurt and pain before they had access to dentistry? Did the blacksmith really pull out the culprit with his pliers? Ouch! The longer I ignore the problem the bigger it will become. I will try to shut my childhood traumas in the closet and face the demons.