Florida Freeze

It's been cold in Florida lately and we are not at all conditioned to this blast of frigid air. We are flip-flop junkies in shorts and t-shirts. I would do barefoot if not for all those dang sand spurs. OUCH!!!!

So the little guy who hasn't much fur at all and just about hairless on his little belly began to shake. Poor baby doesn't like this cold weather either. Off we go to the land of Wallyworld - very early in the morning to miss the barrage of rather strange looking individuals who walk the trails to Walmart. And yes, I spotted one on the way out and no camera to document the episode. Some parts of the body just need to be covered - cold or not cold.

I purchased the little guy a red plaid flannel jacket and he looks so sweet. He is now a brave kitty-cat hunter. Whatever - at least his shivering has stopped. Monday night the freeze is supposed to hit so we are prepared.

New Years Resolution

I am being 'Proactive' - starting early and getting all my ducks in a row. I am contemplating my New Years Resolution for 2011. My resolution for 2010 is almost complete. It was get healthier and STOP getting sick all the time. It has improved at least the asthma end of things the back is another story.

So my thinking quest for the next years resolution is producing excellent results. I am still in the fine tuning stage and it will be completed by January first.

It begins in the front yard. My plan or resolution is for my entire yard to take on the ambiance of a Key West cottage. I shall begin on the front yard and slide gracefully into the backyard to have a tropical oasis surrounding my abode.

I have made a suggestion to hubby about this but I believe the idea floated right over the top of his head. This will need some fine tuning. And he has done an awesome-awesome transformation on the front of the house. So I know he will produce fantastic Key West looking results in the front yard.

Stump Pass State Park

There are little almost hidden pockets of Florida that still resemble the OLD or REAL Florida as some refer to the last small escapes. Stump Pass State Park is on the very end of Manasoto Key which lies south of Nokomis and Englewood is one of theses little quiet pockets of paradise. It is inconspicuously tucked away at the end of this key and is truly amazing.

Eagles fly over their kingdom while box turtles walk the hiking paths and move out of the way for no one. Herons strut along the beach within inches from visitors. Osprey stare down at you from their perches and flutter their wings. Dolphins put on a daily show close to the sandy beach. Little sandpipers skitter across the wet sand in search of a meal. Egrets pose for photos on branches stuck permanently in the surf.

Shells are placed on overturned tree roots either by nature or human intervention. Shells litter the beach like a lumpy carpet. Sea oats blow gently to the music of the wind. And of course always the nasty deadly sand spurs. The sand soft and cool beneath your bare feet. Except for the waves slipping along the shoreline and an occasional boat their is a supreme quiet that drifts across the land.

One can get lost in the beauty and the wilderness. A little piece of paradise snuggled next to the hustle and bustle of Florida. A reprieve of traffic, high rises and shops is most welcome.

Daylight Savings Time

I was trying to adhere to the 7 habits and tried my

hand at 'Be Proactive'. Well - as usual a dollar

short and a week too early. I set

all the clocks an hour back.

Fall behind! Spring ahead! Apparently my sprung has sprang. We don't turn

the clocks back till November 7. Helloooo - where have I been. Earth to

Matilda.....

So I also reneged on my tossing the old wretched bathing suit in the trash.

I just knew those weather people were dead wrong about a cold spell hitting

Florida. I have at least a few more days left for swimming - at least till we

change the clocks back.


Why do we have daylight savings time????????????

Pursuing Paradise

What is it about Florida that attracts so many - non-conformist? Or individuals living outside the norm. Normal - what does that mean? Who is to say what is normal and what is bizarre? Why Do gazillions flock to this paradise surrounded by the forces of mother nature? Her waves crash upon the shores leaving messages in the sand. And there are those that see and hear those messages and follow them with wild abandon.

And I - am here standing in the midst of all this glorious splendor and quirkiness. Apparently I fit in well although I am not traveling the streets with a British flag tied to my neck flapping in the breeze. What I do have flapping in the breeze is a sail from a long ago sailboat tied to the palms trees in my side yard. It's blue and white with the numbers 986 stamped in black print on both sides. I assume the numbers have a meaning or perhaps a message.

I placed the giant sail in the side yard to cover the turtle ponds to keep the harsh sun off the turtles. I certainly hope they appreciate my concerns for them. Speaking of turtles my yard has become a turtle haven. Is that bordering on norm? Anyways the sail makes a lovely calming sound when the wind blows and I can pretend I'm in the middle of the ocean sailing into the sunset. It's like a having an anti anxiety pill at your beck and call 24/7. It transport the mind and soul to a relaxed world. And it cost nothing and is not addicting. Or is it?

Then I have the painted pink rocking chair on my front veranda filled with old leather shoes and flowers. It's my form of recycling. In the side yard sits an old rusted red wheel borrow filled with dirt and once filled with flowers but the flowers died and the dirt sprouts pretty weeds so there she sits. The front wheel has deflated and sags precariously to the East. Until last week a huge faux clay pot sat right next to the red rusted wheel borrow minus the flowers. It housed the hose. After a few years the heat from the Florida sun melted the faux clay plot that housed the hose and she ended up in some landfill far away from here. Recycling can only go so far.

So what is it about this paradise that attracts those following the beat of a different drum. Speaking of drums I attended my first drum circle - awesome. The drums and the flapping of my sail makes a wondrous melody of music for the soul. I wonder if that is in the book 'Chicken Soup For The Soul'?

http://www.tampabay.com/news/education/k12/moon-lake-elementary-students-get-lessons-in-team-building/1118034

Here Kitty-Kitty

My plans for today - tubing down the Rainbow River have been scrapped - dashed - washed away. It's raining - has been like all day long. The last day before school starts and I sit at home twiddling my thumbs. I mean one could get wet tubing down the river in the rain. I think the rain may stir up the gators - don't want to do that!

Well, it's thundering so lightening can't be too far behind. Dang, I really wanted to go to escape this inferno. Probably a good thing the rain interfearred and the fact that I watched Nat. Geo and the salt water crocs that have been attacking people. It was Australia but they could swim here. So I would have been on pins and needles thinking about the crocs and my toes hanging over the side of a tube. That small tube a croc or a gator could deflate with one small yawn.

So instead I did something more productive. I started the plan for next summer. Always trying to be proactive. Went looking for an airstream trailer to take up into the North Carolina mountains. After the sticker shock $70,000.00 I am thinking about plan B. I may have to sleep on that.

Swim at your own risk

Sometimes my dreams involve themes. My theme last night was water. Water is one of my favorite elements. It's part of my soul. I think in my past life I must have been a fish or perhaps a piece of a coral reef - like a brain coral.

These past two weeks have been totally without water joy. Due to the stitches on the sole of my foot I am water deprived. No pool, no foot in the tub or puddle jumping. This rule has weighed heavily on me especially due to the fact that this has been the hottest summer in years and I cannot go in the pool.

So my dreams of water surely must have a connection to my recent issue of lack of water. The first dream was me and hubby swimming down a river that was tea colored similar to the St. John's River that flows upstream to the north. An oddity of sorts but then this is Florida. And in Florida almost every fresh body of water including mud puddles has at least one alligator as resident troll.

So it would not be like me to swim in not so crystal clear water in Florida. There are also water moccasins that travel the waterways. So here we are swimming in this water after dark and we come to a tunnel. This summer we drove over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel - a correlation here? We are swimming in this tunnel and I am carrying some contraption that cannot get wet. (My foot?) We are worried that a car might come through and run us over. There is water in this tunnel. Another correlation - watched the history channel last night and they highlighted the aqua car. It was a dark and scary tunnel sort of like the drama in my life.

The next dream back in that fresh Florida water again but this time with a group of kindergarten sweeties. I had about 20 of them in this very long kayak. The white plastic seats kept coming unsnapped. And of course the little darlings would not sit in line order or leave the plastic seats snapped. They jumped out of the kayak and would not follow instruction. That's kindergarten kids for ya. One little girl could not speak clearly. I tried my best to control the situation but had no success.

I turned around and the little girl who could not communicate turned into a doll and was at the bottom of the water. I reached down and pulled her out gave her a couple of rescue breaths and she was fine.

I could interpret these wack dreams in many ways. They all seem to correspond to my life and the drama clouds. Last night we had a horrific thunder, lightning and rain storm. I fell asleep to the raindrops pounding the roof. I try to analyze my dreams and relate them to the current issues in my drama filled life. Sometimes I am at a loss over the meanings or implications of my nightly fantasies. I'd consult a dream doctor but the insurance doesn't cover them.

Recycling

Eons ago we owned a sailboat. It was a small sailboat only room for two fools. And one of them was me. I love water and I like boats only too late did I find out I don't like sailboats. A tiny sailboat on a big-big lake to be exact. Huge freighters were passing by and this was not in a no-wake zone. I was terrified. I felt like an ant crossing a six lane highway. What were my chances?

So, the sailboat and me drifted apart. She eventually ended up in the garage and was sadly (not so) forgotten. One day spring clean up came along and she was dragged out to the garage sale. Apparently there are not too many sailboat lovers that frequent garage sales for sailboats. Back to the garage she went.

More time passed and then it was really time for her to go. She went back to a garage sale and was purchased for pennies on the pound. She was a lightweight.

This past summer part of her emerged again. Who would have known. Somehow my brother had one of her sails and it was my job to transport the sail in an over packed small car halfway across the country to deliver to another brother. So, her sail went for a summer ride in the back of an overloaded car.

"It won't fit my sailboat. I don't want it," said brother number two. She is packed back into the overstuffed car and travels many more miles through many more states. It was a perfectly good sail I just couldn't throw it away. She went home to Florida with us in that overstuffed small car.

I had this bright idea to string the sail over the turtle ponds to give my guys a little shade from the hot Florida sun. So now I sit outside and listen to the sail flap in the breeze and pretend I'm on some ocean voyage in a truly wonderful and enormous sailboat - sailing around the world. I sip my coffee prop my feet up and watch the sail dance to the music of the wind. She is in wonderful shape after all these years. My thoughts drift back to the boat and wonder whose garage she is sitting in right now.

Tar Ball Tours

I went whale watching while in Cape Cod this summer. It was awesome. Then, my minds starts calculating hundreds of people times $40.00. That looks like retirement money.

Lots and lots of whales putting on a show for the tourists. We saw no whale fishermen. And if I were a member of Greenpeace and saw the whale fisherman I could have thrown my body in their nets to save a whale. Then, it surely would have been an interactive tour. So this bizarre thought pops into my pea brain about tours in Florida.

So, you may ask? what does Florida (the gulf side) have to offer in the way of interactive tours? The Florida tour could be called 'The Tar Ball tour'. I could take tourists out in search of oil debris. The tourists would have a special net and scoop that oil right out of the Gulf of Mexico. We would be saving our earth, feeling good about our humanitarian work and making me rich.

First, I would need a boat - a big boat to carry all those people out to oil country because it has not hit my Florida beaches yet. And a boat driver, and insurance, and a dock and money for advertising and all those special nets to pick up the oil. $40.00 bucks a pop and the tourists doing most of the work. I see green in my future plus all the oil would be removed from the Gulf of Mexico, all marine life and vegetation would be saved along with tourism in several states and I would be a hero.

Sounds like a great idea to me. I wonder why BP doesn't start something like this?

Allegory of an alligator

An alligator walked into a middle school in Tampa the other day. The staff locked him in a bathroom. Perhaps – just maybe this gator heard about the great education students in Florida receive from their underpaid and over worked teachers and wanted to learn. So what do we do but lock him up. Don’t even think about his creativity and persistence of getting into a school without his inoculations or proof of residence. Lock him up. I certainly hoped they checked the facilities to make sure no children were inside.

I would just freak out if I found myself locked in a bathroom with an 8 foot alligator and I had no hall pass. And then, the undone homework issue would rear its ugly head just like the gator before he snaps. I guess this is what one would deserve for cutting classes. It would be the last time a class was ever cut, especially if the you got caught smoking in the boys’ room and you were a girl.

I did that once – not smoking in the boys’ room or even getting caught – I just went in and took a peek at what a boys’ bathroom looked like. I was curious like the gator. The thing was in Catholic school you had to follow the rules. That was the one and only I broke and never did get caught. T.G.

Back to the alligator and his trespassing woes – today a smaller one was found in a parking lot at a Lakeland dental clinic under a car. Maybe the little guy had a toothache and had no insurance. Very similar to Pasco County Schools taking away the employee’s dental insurance plan - they might as well they have taken away almost everything else – let those teeth rot away. You don’t need teeth to teach.

That’s it – the alligator was applying for a teaching position.

Fountain of Youth

We went park hopping this past holiday weekend. One stop was at Blue Springs state park in Orange City near Deland, Florida. It was awesome. Hubby went swimming in the crystal clear spring water (72 degrees). Is he nuts or what? After the swim he mentioned his hair was fluffy from the spring water. I never knew he even thought about his hair.

Day two we went to DeLeon Springs state park. The highly claimed 'Fountain of Youth' that Poncey is said to have found. I soaked my feet in the fountain of youth to mend my bad big toe. Big bad toe is still big and bad. I never win with lottery tickets either.

We rented a paddle boat to tour the river. Not an easy task to steer the boxy barge. I have this light bulb go off inside my head - it was dark and cloudy but no lightning yet. So it was one of my thoughts and not a storm. Well, sometimes my thoughts are stormy but.... I'm thinking we could paddle with a paddle boat up the Intracoastal waterway from Florida to North Carolina and get in the Guinness Book of Records.

We would need sponsors and lots of them. I would surely need to make a hefty profit off of this adventure to even consider it. Imagine being in the Guinness book of Records for paddling that far - in a tippy - uncooperative plastic boat. Perhaps it was lightning flashing and not my scattered brain.

While paddling with a group of other paddle boat enthusiasts - they came across a baby gator. That's him to the right of the photo. I wonder how many gators we would encounter on our trip up the Intracoastal waterway? Maybe I should think about the excursion.

Summer in Florida

It's that time in Florida that I like the least. The onset of summer. She's slowly slipping in rolling across the dried burnt grass of my front lawn. It crunches as you walk across it. It's even more than just the heat - it's the dreaded humidity.

You walk around with your clothes dripping wet from sweat clinging to your body like over cooked noodles. You feel sticky, smelly and bloated. Walking down a sidewalk you can feel the heat rising as if it comes from the fires of hell. It jumps up and smacks you hard in the face taking away your breathe. Your rubber soled shoes sticking to the sidewalk like tasteless discarded gum.

And this is merely the beginning of the summer saturation. Just a fraction of what will be coming during the full force of the summer months. I'm wishing I was a snowbird so I could head north looking for a little relief from the heat and oppressive humidity. I'm thinking about spending another summer living in the pool - not such a bad idea. Anything to escape the heat and humidity. After awhile the pool water is as hot as the air and relief is nowhere around. Then shelter is sought inside air conditioned buildings where the summer days are wasted away - waiting for cooler weather.

I wonder what it was like in Florida before air conditioners? Wait!! I grew up in Florida. We had NO air conditioner and not even a fan. WOW! How did I survive? I certainly don't remember the heat and humidity but then I was a kid. Having fun - enjoying life - no worries. How strange that our memories change over time. More than likely as I hit the rocking chair stage I will be wrapped up in my sweater whining that I'm cold.

Heading for a dip in the pool to start my day.

Roll it on a river

Heading north from Sebring on route 27. Bumper to bumper traffic, trucks, cars all going somewhere on a Thursday afternoon. So may traffic lights - so many stops. Strip mall scenery - boring at best.

An 18 wheeler breezes by and then another, open topped trucks overflowing with Florida's best. Oranges - oranges in April? Then, a small bump or divot in the road and wham-bam-thank you mam. Out pop Florida's finest and roll haphazardly across route 27. Banging and bumping hitting a few cars and rolling to the safety of the roadside.

Waiting for rot to engulf them. Florida's finest just rolling along.

Band on the Run

I think there is a strong possibility that I have been abducted by aliens and dropped on a remote planet way-far out there in some unknown galaxy. Yesterday, I found a layer of ice on the windshield of my car. Yes, we do have a two car garage but still both vehicles sit quietly in the driveway. WHY?

Well, the two car garage is filled with everything from the kitchen sink (TRUE) to a camper. The bicycles are strung up from the ceiling because floor space is non existent. I feel like a hoarder lives in my garage. Back to the abduction and ice on my windshield.

I moved to Florida for the sunshine and warm weather - so what's up with all this cold and frosty stuff? It shouldn't happen in sunny Florida. That's why I believe me and maybe the entire state of Florida has been statenapped and sent elsewhere - without our consent.
We Floridians who like the warm weather and the squelching hot summers have been compromised.

There is a town in central Florida called Frostproof. I wonder where they came up with that name? I also wonder if it is true?

Take me away - to a better place!!! Did the aliens hear me playing that song? I didn't mean take me to the Artic.

And how does one scrape ice off of a windshield with their name badge from work? Life is tuff and then it gets cold.

I'm hoping these alien creatures who have stolen me and all the citizens of Florida find we are truly remarkable and return us to our planet where the weather is warm and we sip Margaritas as we watch the sun slowly drip into the Gulf of Mexico.
I want my warm weather back - NOW.

It is what it is

And I thought all the weirdos lived in Florida. Not a day goes by in the sunshine state where some senior runs their car into a building and occasionally into a crowd of people. I thought I stepped on the brake, my foot slipped, I just don't know how this happened, are many of the excuses. You are too old to be driving - get off the road.
And then there was the driver who had no arms. Yes, he lost both of his arms, did not have a valid license and drove with his feet - while drunk. He had so many tickets they would have filled a grocery cart. He continued to drive till they locked him up and threw away the key.
Now, Florida has been outdone by a northern state in the driving scenarios. Lazy-boy here he comes with the pedal to the metal.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lounge_chair_dwi

Jay B. Starkey Wilderness Park

Flipping through the endless channels on the television and I am presented with many commentators who put down our government, exploit families and make their own brand of headline news. I open the local paper and I can read about gloom and doom. The housing bust, the unemployment and the crime that seems to be everywhere. I browse the Internet and find celebrity stars that are having a bad hair day and increase in childhood obesity. The obesity issue can be fixed! The bad hair day - who cares?

I am surrounded and inundated by negativity. I feel like my senses are assaulted on a daily basis.

Where is the good? Where is the upbeat? Where is the positive?

That can be found tucked in a corner of the newspaper in very small print with an even smaller caption. Forget about hearing the good stuff on the evening news. And if you are not a big time celebrity or writing a book about lust you won't be listed on the Internet.

I came across a small article in the local paper - tucked discreetly away. Why isn't this plastered in BIG BOLD print for all to see and feel good about? Why is it that negativity takes precedence?

In the Pasco section next to the Hometown News is a wonderful and inspiring story.

Sandra Fleming, a park attendant at Jay B. Starkey Wilderness Park in New Port Richey, has been recognized by Pasco County for her assistance in helping a women injured at the park. Hooray for you Sandra Fleming!!!!!! Pasco County congratulates this park attendant.

Why can't we hear more of the positive that is out there? Too much negativity just deepens negativity. Let's focus on the positive side of life.

Visit the park and indulge in tranquility. http://www.swfwmd.state.fl.us/recreation/areas/starkey-park.html

Oil of Disappointment

I decided to make some sweet smelling fragrance stones. They contain flour, salt, cornstarch and fragrance oil. Fragrance oil is expensive so in these dire times of a down economy I only purchased one bottle of oil. That set me back an hours salary. So I needed to conserve my fragrance oil at those prices and wondered why people complain about the cost of gasoline! Apparently they have never purchased fragrance oil.

I mixed up the batter for my stones, rolled them out and cut them in cute little circle fluted designs. The fragrant stones didn't have a whole lot of fragrance and they really smelled like old flour. Must be because I skimped (a whole lot) on the expensive fragrance oil. I had a bottle of liquid potpourri and I pored it over my ill smelling fragrance stones.

I placed my now soggy bottom boys fragrance stones on a slotted baking rack and placed them in the hot Florida sun in the screened lanai. The instruction say they needed to dry and my soggy bottom boys needed lots of drying time in the hot Florida sun. I go on about my daily business of trying to look busy and staying cool. I left the house to buy groceries with nothing in my cart even coming close in price to the fragrance oil.

I read a chapter of my book, washed clothes, swept the floor and started lunch. The intense heat of the day drove me inside but for some odd strange peculiar reason the dog Ronster Man stayed outside in the hot sun. The day slipped by and I forgot about my fragrance stones baking in the hot Florida sun. Big boy Ronster Man did not forget about my fragrance stones that still smelt like old flour. The golden yellow sun was dipping below the treeline and I ventured outside in the hot humid atmosphere to retrieve my fragrance stones that weren't very fragrant and smelt like old flour. I spied my slotted baking rack sitting empty on the table top in the lanai. No fragrance stones that smelt like old flour were visible. I looked at the Ronster Man lounging by the side of the pool with remnant crumbs lying next to him.

Thoughts swirled inside my raging brain that it was a good thing that I did not use the required amount of fragrance oil that the directions stated. I hope my fragrance stones that smelt like old flour gives him permanent indigestion. In my world nothing is sacred around this fur shedding eating machine. Perhaps I could invent a new fragrance oil - Oil of Disappointment.

Perponderance of the Evidence

I'm sitting in front of my computer tapping away at the keyboard once again. My window is open and I feel the cool morning breeze. The sun is still asleep so I only see darkness outside my window. The birds are chirping like that clock my former boss owned, quite annoying coming from a clock but peaceful coming from the real thing.

My neighbors American flag is lit up looking like a red white and blue Christmas tree and the spotlight shines right up the flagpole. It's another peaceful moment to begin the day with. Every minute the sky gets a little lighter as somewhere out there the sun wants to roll out of slumber and splash us awake with shards of gold.

Today is the last day of the work week as Friday is a day off. Oh, the wonder and the glory of a day off. The day off is a leftover allotted hurricane day that was never used - thank goodness. Hurricane season is just around the bend and that is distressing, but not quite as distressing as all the media hype about the swine flu. Enough already - I understand. Wash my hands, use sanitizer, don't travel and don't come in close contact with strangers.

My plans for the Orlando Disney trip is starting to cause me worry. Should I go? Should I stay home and wash my hands non-stop? I could sit here by my window tapping away at my keyboard and have some crazy Florida driver round the bend a little too fast and plow right into my home and run me over. So what are my odds at catching the swine flu compared to getting run over by crazy Florida drivers? Whoa - I had better get away from my window.

The sun still slumbers. Where is my morning greeting?