Friday, July 11, 2008

Crayola Crayons

Okay, so, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. I know. I admit that fact freely. Soft colors are soothing, calming and lower the stress level. I'm proud to be a pastel color. Who wants to be called hot lips pink? Or ruby-red, tequila turquoise or school bus yellow. I'll take taupe (tope) any day.

So hubby is away and has left me to fend for myself. Such a scary thought. I do not do well all alone. Summer in Florida can be hot, humid and more hot and humid. I wish we were snowbirds.
Usually we tuff it out and never turn on the central air. Why have it? Came with the house. When the heat turns us to mush we jump in the pool that is at a whopping 90 degrees. That's a real cooler-offer.

So - when the cats' away the mice come out and play. Actually if a mouse came out I would scream like a sissy girl and stand on a stool. While the cat makes a mad dash under the bed.

It was hot as Africa inside the house. Me - being all alone I'm thinking a dip in the pool is not a good choice. I could get a cramp and drown or stub my toe.

So I opted for turning on the central air. AAAHHHHH, it was like heaven. Not that I really know what heaven is like. I fall asleep with the cool air swirling around my bed. I wake up with a little chill and pull the blanket over me and drift back to dreamland. Hours or perhaps seconds later when frostbite was setting in I jumped out of bed - in the dark - and rushed to that thingy box on the wall and flipped the switch. Back to bed and sweet dreams. By and by I kick off the fleece coverlet, then, the Egyptian cotton 600 thread count sheet. I'm dripping bullets of perspiration.

I trudge out to the kitchen sneaking around in the dark trying to make coffee. I'm standing next to the counter adding creamer (low fat) to my coffee and I feel this blast of hot air from the ceiling. On the third hour she created light by turning on the light switch. I walk over to that thingy on the wall - can't see a thing without the specks.
Search like a mad hatter for the glasses. Alice was so lucky to attend that tea party. I find the specs under yesterdays newspaper. And walk right up to that thing on the wall. I inspect it. The button on the right says AIR and the button on the left says HEAT and in the middle is OFF. Which way did I have it?

I will not disclose this episode to hubby when he returns. Something will have to be done about the electric bill - that will give me away for sure.

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