Thursday, July 10, 2008

Celebrate life not death

Death seems like such a bleak option. It fills us with sadness, remorse and at times anger. A black curtain of doom shadows our thoughts and actions. When one is 88 it is almost acceptable but when one leaves at 14 the acceptance level is gone with the last rainstorm. Why, is an insurmountable question? It's not fair becomes a statement of contempt.

It is so easy to fall into the dark abyss of despair and smother in frustration and guilt. If we turn the situation around it makes the finality easier to bear. Death is done, gone and end with no return. The light at the end of the tunnel is out. The pulsating heart that moved without notice has turn rock solid. Tears are the spillway to tomorrow.

So, I proposed to this sad young lady the idea of celebrating his life as opposed to permanently grieving over his absence. We toasted him with semi cold diet cream soda in a can. We said - "cheers" as we clicked our cans high in the air and laughed at the way he made her smile. We celebrated his loving personality and how he touched her life with happiness and laughter. We remembered all the good and fun stuff they did together. I helped her bring him back to life within her heart and soul. We concluded the ceremony over mcmuffins, one of his favorite foods. We surrounded ourselves with pleasant memories and fun times they shared as friends. She is learning to savor their friendship and his impact on her life. Death was his option at such a tender age but she can now hold a piece of his goodness inside herself. She can celebrate his life and not be pulled down into the despair of his ending. Death is permanent but love is eternal.

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