Sunday, March 2, 2008

Crimes of Passion

In the heat of the night -wait it was only afternoon and the temperatures were mild. It's difficult to start a crime story with just ordinary circumstances. One needs drama and suspense to capture an audience. To me, my life is overflowing with drama but when placed into words it seems so mundane.

I'll just go with the mundane and not elaborate. It was a lovely afternoon - not too hot -not too cold - "just right", said Goldilocks or is that what Little Red Riding Hood said? Goldilocks and Little Red are now felons doing time at the big house. Did they commit 'Crimes of Passion'? Well goldie was hungry and tired and helped herself to the spoils of others. Little Red (in some version) killed the big bad wolf and in others had a willing accomplice.

Once upon a time a lovely lady was walking through a private park (admission $15.00) with an enormous array of flora and fauna. Way too much for one organization to have and not share with the public and little old ladies. The golden trumpet flowers were fantastic and their splendor tantalizing. They appeared to be produced by that little old man Rumpelstiltskin. If that's spelt correctly - I believe I win. What I may win is another matter.

The little old lady huffed and puffed and tried in vain to blow one of the seeds down from the top branches of the tree. But they just held tight swayed in the wind and whispered. "You can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man."

The sign clearly stated - 'Please Stay On The Path.' Obviously it was not intended for the little old lady. She followed the tune of the Little Drummer Boy. She came to a fork in the road - and she took the path less traveled and jumped over the solar light that looked like a candlestick.

Now, the little old lady was deep in the forest - alone and off the path. Right there before her she saw the magnificent trumpet vine blooming like an idiot. She was greeted by the landscape gardener who eyed her suspiciously.

"Let's make a deal," whispered the little old lady.

"I will trade you my authentic leather bag (made from a cow) for a few seeds from that there silly little vine."

"Plant them next to your window," replied the Gardener as he rubbed his hands over the faux leather bag.

The little old lady clutched the seeds to her chest and fled away into the night. Actually, it was still afternoon but a thief always flees in the heat of the night. She planted the seeds right outside her bedroom window and lived happily everafter. Not entirely happily everafter because their was a drought in Florida and she couldn't water her seeds and they never grew but she did have a $2.00 off coupon to return to the gardens and she did.

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