Sunday, January 23, 2011

Golden Globe Award

I wonder why they have never made a movie called - "Vegetable Peeler Massacre'? Iffin they did I could be the star - with blood and guts - well maybe not the guts but lotsa blood. Who would have thought that a tiny little weapon like a vegetable peeler could do so much damage to a thumb? A vegetable peeler - a sharp vegetable peeler should be handled with extreme caution.

Actually it may be hubby's fault he's the one that bought that brand spanking new SHARP vegetable peeler. He knows how I am but still he let me take that fandangled peeler in my hands and slice off my skin. And it came off fast and easy. Didn't feel a thing till I saw all that red blood (guess I'm not a blue blood)spurting off the top of my left thumb.

That would have been a great scene - all that blood spurting right out of my thumb (still intact) and me looking at it in paralyzed horror screaming just like a sissy girl. In all those horror movies the girls always stand around screaming as if they were zombies. They never show guys standing screaming - sexist movies. Whatever - I hurt and I scream but I do get out of my own way and do not wait for the evil villain to get me.

I wonder who the evil villain would be in the 'Vegetable Peeler Massacre'? A cantankerous carrot? An Idaho spud gone mad? An old dull paring knife feeling useless and ignored. Perhaps I should stop ignoring the old dull paring knife. I would have never almost bled to death if I had used the standby dull paring knife.

I'm thinking a movie like this may win a Golden Globe award and perhaps I could be nominated for best actress with a sissy girl scream but very independent and resourceful. I wonder if there are any sharp edges on the Oscar?

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