Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Essence of Toilet Paper

My thoughts are in this strange place - kind of like living in the Twilight Zone with Rod Serling as your Mayor.

It's all about these reality television programs. Average people (supposedly) with a camera attached to their faces 24/7. And everything documented and played out for the world to see. That is those that wish to watch this t.v. trash. And I am being sooooo judgemental. STOP IT.

I don't even watch it but I see the commercials. People who devour household cleansers and eat toilet paper. Get real. I mean if you want more fiber in your diet eat leaves. Some things should truly be kept behind closed doors. The fact that you have piles of useless trash overtaking your house just makes me wonder about your mental condition.

And then the animal hoarders. EEECCCKKK. I hate the smell of cat urine from just one feline and I change the litter box weekly. I even bought the new corn kitty litter. Now if you're needing fiber in your diet try the corn kitty litter instead of toilet paper - 50 cats in one house with no litter box. My stomach is tossing and I can smell the smell right through the television. Well, I guess that is reality t.v.

In my younger days - not that I am old - well just a little - no make that not at all. Bizarre actions like eating toilet paper would certainly be kept behind closed doors. We would never let the neighbors know - let alone the whole nation. It would be something kept within the family.

Then, I think of how I could cash in on a reality television show - grow rich and unfamous and become a celebrity. What is it about my life that people would want to watch? Not much that is interesting or bizarre. Well there was the time I put those googly-eyes on my kumquat and took a picture of it for a contest. Where is the drama in that?

I talk to my animals but I do believe that is on the normal side. And if I did have a great story to be turned into a reality television program would I want the world to see? Probably not. The really scaring part of life is that the Balloon Boy has moved to Florida. These wanna be reality stars are taking over the world. I wonder if they are aliens disguised as humans?

I wonder if they eat single ply or double ply toilet paper? And does it roll forward or backwards. I let my toilet paper roll forward and I love folding it to a point after every use like they do in some fancy hotels. Next I will put a piece of chocolate on my pillow every night. That sounds good - eating chocolate every night much better than eating toilet paper.

What ever happened to colored toilet paper? If your favorite color was blue you could eat blue toilet paper. And perhaps after eating enough of that stuff you could audition to be in the Blue Man Group.

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