Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Cinderella's Castle

I see what I want to see, hear what I want to hear and think what I want to think. This is how my mind functions and it works for me. It doesn't matter that I wear very tinted glasses or my head is beneath the sand. I like the way I interact with the world - my world. Looking at a bright yellow sunflower is so much better than looking at my dead brown grass. Even the pretty weeds in my yard give me pleasure - sometimes. It's so much easier viewing pleasantries than getting sucked under by the ugliness - and yes weeds can be beautiful.

I suppose no know really knows about fresh donuts they way I do. Really fresh and sometimes warm (Krispy Kreme) donuts contain less calories if eaten right from the box than donuts that are several hours or a day old. You see the fresh ones are lighter therefore must contain less calories.

Exercise has more benefits when performed in a cute little spandex exercise outfit. Overdoing exercise and getting sweaty can cause mascara run - a definite negative in my book of fruitless thoughts. Exercise in a pool in a sleek new bathing suit or nothing at all burns off excess fat. Swimming nude at a nudist colony would surely motivate the lax exerciser. Never tried that and pretty sure I never will. Some things are best left to the imagination or nightmares.

Drink responsible has such a stupid ring to it - sort of like saying 'chocolate is bad for you'. Chocolate is food from the gods. Tell an alcoholic or a teen trying to impress his chickie to 'drink responsibly. Those words will go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel without any airholes. A better slogan would be to 'Think Responsible' or 'Dream Responsible'. Dreaming has a truer quality and is like a travel channel inside your head. When one doesn't drink responsible their travel plans get cancelled and they did not pay the extra insurance to get a refund. Thinking responsible does have a few drawbacks - like - why am I writing this? Wait - I am not thinking just rambling.

Driving down the road I see one shoe tossed indiscriminately in the middle of the road. I have tried to imagine and justify to my inquisitive and slightly warped brain how this one shoe got itself in the middle of the road. And where is the mate? It's always, always - just one shoe lost in highway hell. Does the person ever realize they have lost one shoe? Were they not drinking responsible when this episode took place? Are they walking around the world or their town with one shoe on? Was it their favorite shoe? Or does this give them a reason to go shoe shopping? Not that I or anyone else need a reason to go shoe shopping. Shoe shopping is a right of passage, a divine pleasure, a necessity and chicken soup for the sole.

This morning my thoughts are swirling like whirled peas on steroids - wait I do take steroids - that must be the problem. It's not that I want to take steroids but the doctor ordered them perhaps to give me a reason to eat low calories fresh donuts or keep me coming back so he can collect my co-pay and vacation on some tropical island. And since I am not a professional baseball player my steroid consumption does no harm to my game of life. Or does it?

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