Escape from Alcatraz

The turtle pond is getting a much needed makeover. Actually the whole thing is being reconstructed by hubby. He is so good. The old ponds were removed and a temporary pond was set up for the little buddies. The non-permanent pond was placed in the side yard in the full sun with a buffet of minnows to help them cope. Turtles - at least my turtles do not like any type of change or movement of their habitat.

I go outside to check on the buddies and give them some veggies and I notice Scarface the youngest and smallest is AWOL. Never underestimate the climbing power of turtles.

I am in panic mode. Oh no another lost turtle. I thought I had lost Jim the box turtle but he was found safe and within the confines of the fence. We run around the yard in search of Scarface. Horrific thoughts scrambled inside my head. The road, the traffic, the dogs and other predators. I was sick. My baby exposed to all kinds of terror.

He's no where in the yard. This throws me into a total panic mode. Where could the little guy have gone? And then out of the corner of my eye ( without contacts) I see a small rock two driveways down. The rock moves and then so do I. There was the little darling just sunning himself in the neighbors driveway.

I picked him up and gave him a thorough tongue lashing and placed his sorry little butt back in the non-permanent pond and covered it with a screen. Their new home should be finished by late today.

Goats on the roof

I like tourist traps - the tackier the better. Like Pedro at 'South of the Border' in South Carolina and 'Hole in the Wall' in Utah. 'Perry's Nut House' somewhere in one of the New England states - don't remember which state but I remember the store. Bought the kids t-shirts that said - 'I escaped from Perry's Nut House'. They are just a fun place to visit. I found another tourist destination in Tiger, Georgia. Tiger is near Helen, Georgia. It was cute. Beyond the cute I bought this really, really awesome t-shirt. On the back it says - "Old Goat's Wife'. LOL. 'Goats on the Roof.'

Besides memorable t-shirt's they have Amish food -mmmmmm. The cheese curd was heavenly. Fantastic Amish furniture and Goats on the roof. Yep, a roof covered with grass and goats a grazing on them. http://www.goats-on-the-roof.com
And the website plays dueling banjo's - scary - very, very scary. I think they have a t-shirt that says - 'Keep Paddling I Hear Banjo Music.'

Mine for gems at this fantastic location. Get some red Georgia dirt on your hands. Wash off the dirt with some homemade 'lye' soap.

Anyhew - ifn your in the mountains of northern Georgia, Tiger, Georgia to be exact - git r done and visit 'Goats on the Roof'. Don't forget to feed them there goats living on the roof.

http://goats-on-the-roof.com

Coupon Craze

You would think an innocent trip to the grocery store would not become a nightmare. Well, that's exactly what happened to me this morning. Actually it wasn't quite a nightmare but an insult - same thing.

I paid for my groceries and the clerk hands me back the receipt and coupons. I'm always on the look-out for coupons. One is salad dressing - okay - I'll use that one. And the next coupon is for adult diapers. OMG!!!

I look down to see if any bodily fluids are dripping down my leg. Negative on that one. I sniff to see if perhaps I have a fluid waste odor. Negative on that one. I know my roots are showing but hey what does that really mean?

Do I look like a person that needs depends? Have I aged that much since I looked in the mirror this morning? Is the cashier just being a smartpass? Wait I think the coupons come out automatically.

Is it that grocery stores believe that at 7 AM in the morning that only senile seniors buy groceries? My embarrassment is tremendous. Perhaps the surveillance camera caught me using the restroom three times while shopping and thought I needed some assistance. Whatever - that coupon is going straight to the trash.

Code Red

Being Floridian flatlanders - I guess we be knowning not much about them their mountains in Georgia. We see this sign that says 'Soapstone' Welcome - Free Information. So I'm thinking it's a 'Welcome' center to the Georgia mountains.

It's about 9 AM and the gate is closed. HMMMMM. There is a very nice gentleman in front of us in a truck. Perhaps he is a mountain man? He gives us the code to enter the gate and in we drive. #1003 Mountain man in the truck is nowhere to be seen. We start driving around looking for a building and we see nothing but houses and an office that says Real Estate Office.

Now we're thinking this ain't no Welcome center and off we go back to the gate to exit the premises before we are abducted. Hubby punches in the code #1003 and nothing happens. Often he gets confused so I get out and punch in the code. Nothing. The gate is motionless. So here we sit in the truck early in the morning on private property where we obviously do not belong stuck on the wrong side of the tracks or locked gate.

I look at another sign that states - Video Surveillance - we are watching you. Okay. I look around for the hidden camera and it must be hidden up on a tree limb or something. So I start to do jumping jacks so the fool sitting in some windowless room watching the surveillance camera sees we are in distress. Nothing. No gate movement no security force descending down upon us to toss us out.



I instruct hubby to hop over the fence (8 feet) he's a good athlete and try the code on the outside to see if the gate opens. He sprints (not exactly) over the fence. He punches in the code and the gate opens and I put the pedal to the metal and hit the road. I think I hear the sounds of banjo's behind me.

The travels of Tuffy

It was the last day of dog sitting ‘Tuffy’. He was still in one piece with everything still attached. I think he had a very happy week at our house. He was fed, petted, played with, went in the pool, went for his nightly walk and got to sleep at the foot of the bed. He even played with the cat and didn’t get his eyes scratched out. Getting him to swallow his medicine was a different story but it was done.

I was feeling bad that he was left in the house all day with the television on and the cat that despised him. Not much to do all day but miss your family and wonder why they left you with almost strangers with the cat from hell. Sometimes I wonder what pets really think about. Tuffy accepted us but I could tell he missed his real owners.

So, for some unknown bizarre reason on the last day of Tuffy’s visit with us – I decide to take him for a ride in the car. Do I know if he likes car rides? No. Do I know if he will behave in the car and not throw up? No. I just felt that he needed a diversion from the cat and a lonely quiet house.

Off we go into the wilds of the Florida highways. Driving in Florida can be a dangerous encounter. Those old people get confused with the brake and the gas pedal. Get out of their way – is a good motto. I’m driving down a fairly busy and chaotic road with Tuffy in the co-pilot’s seat. I’ve got the air blasting in his face blowing his long curly ears in a wild looking fury. His tongue’s hanging out and he has all the appearance of have a great joy-ride. And then – for a reason that has not registered inside my jumbled brain his windows rolls down. Holy Moly! I swerve – slam on the brakes and drive off the side of the road. I receive strange stares from passer-bys. They probably assume I’m one of those old farts that can’t remember which pedal is the gas and which is the brake. And all the while Tuffy is hanging out the window and I go into a panic mode. Did I bring his leash? No.

I grab his collar and pull him back inside. How in the hill did that window go down? I push my button and roll it back up. Tuffy has survived. I pull back on the road and proceed with caution to our destination. Tuffy jumps back up at the window and his little white paw lands on the armrest and down goes the window again. AHA!!!! He knows how to push the button. Where is my childproof lock system on this car? Wait –he’s a dog.

How can I drive home with him in the co-pilot’s seat trying to escape? And me the driver being clueless about childproofing my car – oh what a dilemma. I reach over and pull Tuffy on my lap for security reasons. Now I can’t see the road. I wonder if I could put him in the trunk? Probably not a good idea. One more day and I need to keep him unscathed. I put him in the human seat belt and head for home.