Potty Break

Our sweet little rescue mutt has some odd quirks. I am still impressed how well he behaves (most of the time)with what he has gone thru in his previous life. I wonder if he was loved and somehow just became lost. I really hoped he wasn't abused but every once in awhile he cowers like he has been at one time. Not now. He has a good life with two people that love him to pieces.

Not so much at 2 AM in the morning - like this morning. He never runs to the door to let us know - he's gotta go. He performs these strange rituals that you figure out all by yourself after watching him. Like at 2 AM this morning. Yes, he sleeps with us even though we vowed for that to NEVER happen. We caved.

His prancing around the bed and plopping his 8 pound body on me woke me right up out of a sound sleep. I pushed him off. He is a persistent little guy. He did races across the foot of the bed. I tried to ignore him - not possible. Then he walks across my back over my shoulders and plops down on my pillow. Move it I whisper.

He ignores me. I physically remove him from my pillow and place him by the foot of the bed. He inches his way back up and then starts that licking that sounds like an alarm clock going off.

Back on the pillow and right in my face. Why doesn't he just walk over to the door and bark? That would be simple. He never barks when he needs to go out and relieve himself. He does these little odd quirks which do get your attention. But - it's 2 AM and I am recovering from surgery and it's cold outside. Why didn't you pee before I went to bed.

Hubby is way sound asleep and nothing not even that incessant licking (who knows where?) will wake him. It's left up to me the invalid to take the little bugger out. As soon as I open the door he darts outside into the darkness as I stand lopsided in the cold waiting for his return. Why doesn't he use the dog door. I guess I will have to work on that one.

Klutzzz Syndrome

I am superb at performing odd twists of fate. Actually if the truth be told I may end up in the Guinness Book of Records on how to perform stupid fumbles.
A friend sent me this statement and it reflects me like a mirror. Although I am prone to breaking mirrors and then my reflection gets distorted - WHATEVER.

I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.

So this morning I let out one of those screams. No shark in my bedroom or seaweed. Unfortunately my bedroom has a door frame - and a door knob - and a door which I promptly shut. On my left hand - hence the blood curdling scream. At least it was my left hand.

How does one do stunts like this? If I only knew! After one of these episodes I often never-ever do the same performance. I move on to other disasters.

Dang.........my finger hurts. It's swelled so I removed my rings. The knuckle will never be the same. I am hoping the pain will ease up and the puffiness dissipates. I mean like - I have to go to work today. I can't call in sick and say "Oh by the way I slammed my hand in the bedroom door." That sounds so made up.

At this moment in time I am typing one handed. How will I make it through the day?

Global Warming

I love to sleep with the windows flung wide open and breath in that wonderful fresh air but there are some drawbacks. At 1:48 AM the neighbors decided to have a discussion. Actually it was a full blow argument. They were in a direct line to my back open window. It's amazing how voices travel in the wee hours of the morning. I wonder if they realize this? Perhaps I could repeat their heated discussion - word for word.
I have to get up and go to work in a few hours and the disturbance was getting under my skin. I could have gotten up and closed the windows but that seemed like a violation of my rights. That's when the 'domino' effect set in motion.
For some odd reason the dog felt the need to be a moderator. He slipped out the dog door and began barking at the shrill voices. He ran back and forth along the back fence trying to serenade the couple. His barking grew frantic. I lay in bed wishing for all of them to just 'SHUT UP'. That didn't happen. I really didn't feel like getting out of bed but my choices were limited. Finally, I gave up and stumbled to the door. I whispered for the dumb mutt and he did not respond. Why does that surprise me?
I went to the garage door opened it and whistled. I could have yelled and become one with the neighbors but I felt compassion for the rest of the sleeping neighbors. The yodelling dog came in panting like a rabid dog and went straight to the bedroom with the open windows with the cool gentle breeze.
I jumped back in bed for some shut eye. The neighbors continued their discussion which seemed to be getting louder. Still, I refused to compromise and close my windows. I pulled the covers over my ears with little satisfaction. At that moment the dog started his scratching and chewing on his body parts. The vet says he has separation anxiety. The scratching and licking continued for what seemed like hours. I yelled at the beast and he ignored me. Enough already - I chased him out of the bedroom and closed the door. Let him have his anxiety separation some place else. And that place seemed to be in the backyard again - barking relentlessly. I should have closed that dog door.
Once again I call to him with no response. I go to the garage and yell his name and he comes running to me with the tongue hanging out and panting like a wild boar. I have never met a wild boar but assume they pant. I secured the dog door and went back to bed closing the bedroom door behind me. I flopped on the bed and listened to the discussion beyond my windows.
I tried my relaxing techniques to resume a restful sleep. I could feel it -almost there. I started to drift and the loud voices were fading. Then, the cat started to whine. There is no peace in a household with animals and neighbors who have early morning gripe sessions. And I just wanted some fresh air.

3 Things

Three things from yesterday that made me happy.

1. The pool temperature hit 90 degrees.

2. My bronchitis is under control.

3. The dog didn't pee on the floor.

3 Things

Three things from yesterday that made me happy.

1. I brainstormed my new idea with my daughter.

2. I went to Sonic.

3. The dog didn't pee on the floor.

This is getting easier.

3 Things

Three things from yesterday that made me happy.

1. my doctor gave me free samples so I didn't have to buy prescriptions

2. the dog didn't pee on the floor

3. the pool temperature hit 87

FREe

'The truth shall set you free'. From what? And I have been told many a time that -nothing is free. If I truly want something FREE - I will talk a walk, enjoy the beauty and relax - and at times this may not always be free. There's the toll on the Suncoast Parkway and then the toll to get in the park and the cost of a cold drink and snack. So it's not always free. Life is tuff.

What do I want to be free from? Taxes, the high price of gas, turbulent teenagers and a dog that pees on the floor. I do love the dog.

Will free make me happy? No bills to pay, no charge for overdraft or going over the minutes on our cell phone plan and being totally ripped off. Does free mean I don't have to go to work today?

Does free mean happiness and peace of mind or a good nights' sleep? Even a good nights' sleep will cost you. You need a comfy bed, soft Egyptian cotton sheets, a memory foam pillow and silky pj's.
"Free as a bird.' Perhaps if you're not locked up in a cage in someones garage or at a zoo. And a bird during hunting season. Oh no.
Free is a state of mind - a place to go where we can imagine and create fantasies and reality, find a parking spot near the front entrance of the mall on a rainy day or use the spell checker.
Free is living life with a passion, stepping in mud puddles, crying over spilt milk and missing the hubby.

Size Matters

This story is not even near funny - so please don't laugh. I didn't - honest!! Well, perhaps just a teensey bit, maybe more, like ROFLMAO. Do not try this stunt at home -----------

A certain person - he who shall not be named (hubby) took the car to the garage. It was long overdue but that is irrelevant. He who shall not be named (hubby) caught a ride home. The light bulb burst on when he who shall not be named (hubby) twisted the door handle - locked. Well - DUH. The burning light reminded he who shall not be named (hubby) that the house key was on with the car key that was at the garage with the car. The bulb dimmed.

He who shall not be named (hubby) proceeded around to the side of the house to the doggie door. Yep, the dog door -approximate size 12x18. We purchased the largest size for the German Shepard who tops out at 100 pounds.

He who shall not be named (hubby) needed desperately to get inside. It was time for lunch. Down on all fours like the dog he proceeded through the dog door. At some point he who shall not be named (hubby) became STUCK. You can't get there from here!

Sometime later the neighbor heard the pitiful cries and went to investigate. What a sight for her eyes. I can imagine her never seeing he who shall not be named (hubby) backside, she didn't know whose derriere she was viewing. A robber? A mass murderer? A house jacker?

She followed the correct criteria and called 911. I can just imagine the call. "Hello this is 911. What is your emergency?"
"Yes, I see this butt sticking out of my neighbors dog door and there is a lot of screaming."

I told you not to laugh!!!!