whispering wannabee

My problem child is this 100 pound German Shepard with enough energy to run an entire city. Oh - if only I could harness his energy and use it for profit and pilferage. I could chemically alter it and charge $2.00 a gallon and still make a profit. Back to the walk from hell. I watch Cesar Milan the dog whiperer with intense passion. He is my hero. I have worked and worked with the problem child following Cesar's advice but we still have major issues. This morning on our walk or drag I saw a school bus stop and watched that metal arm swing out to stop kids from crossing behind the bus. So this lightbulb (energy effecient) goes off inside my head. Why couldn't I make a swinging arm like the bus and attach it to my body to keep the big boy behind me and not in front of me. That would truly make me the pack leader. I wonder how much all that metal would weigh? I suppose I would need a patent and then what happens when walking down the sidewalk and a car is parked illegally on the sidewalk and out goes that metal arm and smacks against that nice new shiny Hummer. Well, serves them right for buying a fuel guzzling dinosaur. And then there are all those mailboxes along the side of the road. So I see some problems with this invention. I should put that thought on the back burner and fume about what London is trying to do to poor old Mr. Claus. They want jolly (fat) Santa to be slimmed down. Apparently he is a bad influence on children causing obesity. Perhaps they should produce my mechanical dog walking device and place them thoughout the city and on school grounds. The obese or likely to be obese children could jump over the metal arm and this could be their exercise for the day. Then poor old Santa Claus can stay fat and jolly.