Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving. I think. I guess. Perhaps. Maybe – maybe not. I don’t know. I’m so confused. I just read that the first Thanksgiving is just a myth. It really happened in Florida. There was no turkey, no pumpkin pie – just beans. Should I toss out the turkey and open a can of pork-n-beans? Next thing they will be telling me the earth is flat. I suspected this all along! If I’m not careful where I walk I could fall right off the edge. Would I end up in hell? Or am I already there?
I’ve also read that if your children watched Sesame Street years ago they may have been psychologically damaged. Remember Oscar the grouch and Big Bird with his imaginary friend. What have I done to my children? And now all the children are obese due to that jolly old man in the red suit that comes around in December. England has banned fat Santa’s. They need to trim down they are setting a bad example for our children. Don’t mention that he breaks into your home in the middle of the night and eats your chocolate chips cookies and drinks all the egg nog. (thank you) Well, that means less sugar for the kiddies to get fat on.
My thoughts on child obesity are – here goes!
Our children are obese because their parents sit in front of the computer 24/7 and blog leaving the poor young-uns to fend for themselves.
Since I still believe in the tooth fairy, the lottery fairy and happy ever after (I saw Enchanted yesterday at the theatre) I am going to celebrate Thanksgiving with turkey and all the trimmings – no beans. I hope my children will forgive me for making them watch Sesame Street and letting a fat old man in a red suit be a role model. I will tell their father to stop wearing that suit. I will reduce my computer time by 10 minutes per day and buy lean cuisine frozen meals. I’m still unsure about the circumference of earth.
Happy Thanksgiving.

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