How to Rob a Bank

I admit at times (many times) I write reminders on sticky notes and then forget why I wrote them. I write down cool phrases, quotes and new words on scraps of papers and file them away – never to be found again – sometimes.

I was in a rush this morning and trying to get organized – shoulda put that one on my goal list! Get organized!!! So off to the bank I go as organized as I will ever be. I pull up to the drive-thru. Yahoo - no one there and all green lights. I drop my deposit slip into the cylinder and hear the whoosh.

In seconds a soft voice from behind the tinted glass says, “What can I do for you today?”

Well, are you stupid or what I think? I turn and give the tinted glass the LOOK - are you stupid or what!
“I’m trying to make a deposit here,” I say – as cold as ice.

Good help must be hard to find.

“I’m sorry but you gave me something else,” says the faceless voice behind the tinted glass.
And I hear the whoosh sound of the plastic canister dropping back to me. I reach over, a little miffed at this point in time and snatch out the paper inside the canister. OMG!!! I melt. I look around for the cops to pop up and listen for the siren. She must think I’m trying to rob the bank. OMG!!! Only a fool would try to rob the bank via the drive-thru.

If only I could crawl beneath the seat. I search my purse for the REAL check and deposit slip. It’s not there. I panic. I wonder if she has pushed the alarm button yet. I start searching inside the glove box, my pockets, and the floor of the car. And then I see it folded neatly in the ashtray. I slip it slowly into the plastic canister and hit the ‘send’ button. I hear nothing but the whoosh sound –no sirens.
The whoosh sound rings again and then a polite, “Thank you, have a nice day.”
I wonder if my face has been captured on the hidden camera. I wonder if this will become lunchroom fodder. Get organized goes on my goals list.
So why did I write – Do or die - on a scrap piece of paper?

Hump Day

The sun has risen although you cannot see it through the dark and dreary sky scape. It's like a winter gloom spread evenly across the earth. After spending two days locked inside a conference room the least I expected today was a little sunlight. The dark sky and evil looking clouds chill me to the bone. A discontentment attitude fills my insides.

I feel cheated somehow - as if nature is punishing me with her darkness and all I want is sunshine, brightness and a little warm weather. That doesn't seem like too much to ask for. I'm sitting here wrapped in a fleece robe trying to stay warm. I suppose I could turn on the heat but that would not warm my insides.

I want my bright sun and puffy white clouds to greet me and console me. I want a little warmth as I enter the outside world. The doom and gloom may very well keep me inside today pondering negative thoughts and wishing for spring. I could do something useful and productive and ignore her darkness and gloom. I guess we all have our bad days and today mother nature is in full distress.

My fingers feel the cold as they bang away on the keyboard trying to change my negativity. I have gloves but it's difficult to type with them. This is not the Florida weather that I love and expect. It's dark and cold and I do not like it. Even the cat refuses to go outside. She sits here yelling at me like I have caused this cold and bleakness. At least she has a fur coat.

Time to lift this cluster of gloom - time to go shopping. A cure for sure for the winter blahs!

Illusions

A friend sent me this video.

http://www.youmaker.com/video/sv?id=51485816d3124842bc22d463af60dc51001&f=fs

I heard the birds chirping outside this morning when I awoke. It sounded very spring like. The weather has cooled a little bit here - nice sitting outside weather. I poured myself a cup of coffee added my fat-free creamer and strolled outside. The bird was off on some mission taking his melodious morning chirp with him.

I strolled over to my really kool pink painted Adirondack chair and plopped down in my thin cotton night-shirt. WOW. I nearly jumped right out of my thin cotton night-shirt and dripped hot coffee right down the front of me. Dew lined my pink painted kool Adirondack chair. Well, not anymore it was adhered to my thin cotton night-shirt mixed with coffee, cream no sugar. It sent a chill right thru me.

So I go back inside change my nightie get another cupa java slip on my winter (L.L. Bean) fleece robe and return to nature. I plop right back down on my kool pink painted Adirondack chair and enjoy the morning quiet. No sirens bellowing, car horns honking, no neighbor dogs barking - just total quiet.

I sat there in my fleece robe drinking my coffee with cream, no sugar and cherished the silence. I thought about what my day would bring. The turtles and their huge pond needed to be removed from the front bedroom to make space for the grandson. The old carpet in the closet needs to be ripped out and replaced with laminate flooring. New shelves may or may not go up this weekend? The bird came back and sang me a quick song. I drank my coffee and became lost in the stillness of a great morning.

Goals

One of my goals for this year is to get more exercise. I started with that goal while vacationing in Key West. Driving a car in Key West is like walking thru a maze blindfolded. It is more peaceful to ride bikes. While at Key West I decided to rent a bike instead of walking all day. They have these cute little baskets where you can store water and all of your kool purchases. Once I even put my dirty laundry in the basket and rode to the laundry mat.

So the bike rentals are basically one size fits all. I am a little on the short side. They lowered the seat as far as it would go and still it was difficult to stop and have my feet reach the pavement. I can not even tell you how many times I came face to face with asphalt. Bumps and bruises all over my sore body and I said, "I will never ride a bike again." That was then - this is today.

I search the garage to find my bike - I know it's in there somewhere. Hidden beneath the old pool cover (why haven't we thrown that out?) the umbrella and several stacks of throw rugs: there she is just waiting to be found. I know I should walk the dog today so possibly I could kill two birds with one ride. Not that I would ever kill a bird - maybe a seagull!

I hook the big boy up to his long leash, hop on the bike and off we go. First stop soft grass by the end of my driveway. I look around the cul-de-sac to make sure no one has seen my misfortune. Second try gets me to the corner by the STOP sign. I stop big boy doesn't. The loose fender now hangs precariously closer to the ground. Third and final try - off we go!

The pit bull behind the fence notices us first. I am not prepared. Woof, his deep loud bark shatters my concentration. The big boy takes it as challenge and woofs back on the run. That dog can run faster than I can pedal. It's funny how curbs can stop a person (riding a bike) right in their tracks. I watch my pretty purple bike fly like an eagle gently through the air and land on a perfectly sturdy mailbox. It looked sturdy before it met my bike. I wonder if my homeowners insurance will pay up.

The big boy is busy charging at the pit bull behind the chain link fence as I sit in the gutter and survey my missing skin. I hobble over to the fence and grab his leash and give him a tirade of BAD words. He pants. The owner of the mangled mailbox comes over and asks if I am okay and offers to drive me home and then he looks at big boy. I thank him and offer to replace the mailbox. I pick up my once shiny purple bike and limp home with the big boy. I certainly met my exercise goals for today.