Slithern

I'm sitting in the lanai with the foot up - doctor's orders - just vegging and I see a movement out of the corner of my eye. A flash of color moved really fast behind the potted peace Lillie's. A million and a half anoles scurry around inside the lanai. I hear they eat bugs so I am happy they have decided to live in my lanai. And the babies are so cute. The cat loves to catch them and terrorize them.

All of a sudden right next to potted peace Lilly number two out pops the head of a snake. A harmless black snake but still a snake. I am positively terrified of snakes. A first class snake phobic. I'm paralyzed with fear and can't move due to the bum foot. The foolish boot I have to wear on my foot weighs about ten pounds and would slow down my exit if I tried to move. I suppose I could give the snake a quick wack in the head with the boot and kill him instantly.

He's a black snake - harmless but still frightening to me. I make eye contact with him and he makes eye contact with me. For a second or so our eyes are locked and our bodies are immobile. Then, the spell is broken and he slithers away, Fast. I think he was more afraid of me than I was of him.

So, now I'm feeling spooked sitting out here with my foot up thinking about snakes. I keep searching the floor for any more movement but he doesn't return. My nerves are frazzled and my vulnerability is exposed. I just don't like snakes.

Sea Glass Imposter

Working on my tumbled glass with visions of it really being sea glass. I can dream and spin my wild imagination. It's lots of fun smashing those glass bottles. As the hammer comes down I think unkind thoughts!

The neighbors look at me a little funny smashing bottles in the side yard. They ask no questions. Today I had to smash a few inside the garage. Still hobbling around not able to walk much.

The pain has eased somewhat. GRRRR, hate being incapacitated. Two weeks and the stitches come out.

Working on my FAUX beach glass jewelry. Now gotta find an outlet to sell my works of art.

My tolerance level for pain is zip minus 10.6. I whine when I get a sliver in my thumb. Me and pain are not a harmonious match.

So, why did I opt for my 'wham bam thank you mam' bottom of the foot surgery in the doctor's office? Money - the root of all evil. Cheaper to have awake surgery in the office than put me out into blissland at the surgery center. Insurance and co-pays do not calculate in my budget.

How sad is that scenario that one has to choose the cheapest and not always pleasant method due to finances. I am thankful that I have insurance! I know many that have no health insurance but this goes back to my level of pain tolerance or lack there of.

Imagine a red hot poker coming at ya and searing right through down to your soul. That's how that dammmmm needle felt when doc jammed it into the sole of my hurting foot. The only good thing about the entire episode is my doctor. He is such a cutie. Although he said, "You'll only feel a pinch." His idea of a PINCH has no comparison to my idea of a pinch. Miles apart on that one.

Pain medication and my body are not compatible. I'd rather have my toenails ripped off than deal with the effects of pain medication on my body. I am such a brave soul that I opted for over the counter pain relief. Well, that works out like paddling a canoe down the rapids with a butter knife.

So, here I sit waiting for the healing to begin and the pain to take a permanent vacation, gritting my teeth and feeling 'woe is me.' I dislike whiners. This to shall pass but dang it hurts like %^&*^^####.

Turtle Tracks

I was sitting by the turtle pond just talking to them telling them I missed them. And all of a sudden I see this shell that is lighter in color than is normal. OMG, I think one of the land turtles has fallen in the pond and can't get up. Land turtles are not great swimmers and not smart enough to get themselves out of a precarious situation like a huge pond.

I go into panic mode just knowing my sweet little land turtle will drown. I try to scoop him out but he has grown to a tremendous size. That is odd. He was half that size when I left three weeks ago. Must have been all those worms. He's too big for the net so I call in the cavalry.

Hubby climbs in the pond and searches for the almost drowned land turtle. He does this for me with a heart of gold and true willingness. My hysteria had nothing to do with his pond search. He is such a good man to always come to my rescue. How could I survive without him? Love you snookums!

So he grabs the turtle after several failed attempts and removes the almost drowning land turtle from the pond. Strange - very strange he is not my presumed drowning land turtle. He is a water turtle - but not one of my water turtles. How did he get inside the fence and in the pond? It's an impossibility. A feat only a magician could accomplish. Turtles aren't all that intelligent. I still love them despite that fact.

A mystery of giant proportions. How did this turtle scale a fence and find my turtle pond. Is there a buzz out there in the turtle community about this great place to live? Was it the call of the wild? Is this turtle a closet accrobatist? One escapes out of the pond to the treacherous outside world and another smuggles himself in the pond.


I don't know what the problem is? I give them a wonderful place to live with plenty of food and attention. They have two huge ponds and a very large basking area surrounded by sand. Occasionally they are fed tadpoles, krill and minnows. What more could a turtle ask for? Cooter the biggest of the lot escaped his enclosure while I was on vacation.

I received a call from the neighbor who was caring for them and he said he found the 'big one' walking down the pathway to the backyard. Cooter was just taking a stroll. So Tony picked her up and placed her back in the pond where she belongs. They yard is fenced so she couldn't get out into the dangerous outside world.

Then, the episode circulated around the neighborhood. Turtle escape at the Braun's.

Larry, who is the unofficial mayor of the cul de sac calls Tony and says he has one of my turtles. Tony goes down retrieves the runaway turtle and returns it to the pond. Tony never gave the idea one thought that the house is surrounded by a fence and the turtles can't get out.

This is not my turtle. I have no idea where he came from. He must have heard the word on the street. Now I don't have a clue as what to do with this newcomer? My backyard has become a turtle rescue haven.

Vacations to go

Vacations are wonderful - sometimes when they are over. Too much sitting in the car - way too much fast food and that sweet tea. A quart of ice tea on intake and the output is about two gallons. Interstate I-95 in Georgia has one rest area. Yep - ONE! Georgia does havoc on my bladder. The Pennsylvania turnpike has one 'Service Area' in a hundred mile span. Bladder explosion. The Mass. turnpike closes some of there 'Welcome Centers' on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Hello - it's summer on Cape Cod and no I do not like those porta-potties. They haven't been serviced in about 6 months. EEEWWWWWW. The ferry across Currituck sound has a one staller and a gazillion people on board. The whale watching boat had three spaces and a mega gazillion people searching for whales and drinking lots of ice tea.

I won't even discuss the episode on the Pennsylvania turnpike. It's something I truly want to forget and move forward with my life. Hubby is taking great pride in retelling the 'incident' as he calls it. I'll give him an incident right on his backside with my foot.

So let's just say I was facility challenged during my road trip. But hey - I did get to see whales and osprey. And then that road rage with a truck and his message plastered across the back window that said - 'HEY BOY'. That says it all. Oh and 'Marine Boy' you with the red Tundra truck - you suck. We ain't in Kansas anymore - move over and get out of the way. Yes, other cars can pass you.
Road rage is a scary thing and there is a lot of it out there.

You the jerk that pulled right in front of us doing 80 with no turn signal or look in the rear view mirror - yes, that was a horn honk and you deserved it for being a jerk and take that finger of yours the one you flipped at us and put it someplace where the sun don't shine - like up your nose. You get the stupid award and bad driver of the year award.

It feels soooo good to be home - sleeping on my own comfy bed (no more couches) swimming in my own pool and having a bathroom at my disposal. And no more highways that last an eternity with no facilities and no more rude and obnoxious drivers. Well the drivers will be there.