Klutzzz Syndrome

I am superb at performing odd twists of fate. Actually if the truth be told I may end up in the Guinness Book of Records on how to perform stupid fumbles.
A friend sent me this statement and it reflects me like a mirror. Although I am prone to breaking mirrors and then my reflection gets distorted - WHATEVER.

I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.

So this morning I let out one of those screams. No shark in my bedroom or seaweed. Unfortunately my bedroom has a door frame - and a door knob - and a door which I promptly shut. On my left hand - hence the blood curdling scream. At least it was my left hand.

How does one do stunts like this? If I only knew! After one of these episodes I often never-ever do the same performance. I move on to other disasters.

Dang.........my finger hurts. It's swelled so I removed my rings. The knuckle will never be the same. I am hoping the pain will ease up and the puffiness dissipates. I mean like - I have to go to work today. I can't call in sick and say "Oh by the way I slammed my hand in the bedroom door." That sounds so made up.

At this moment in time I am typing one handed. How will I make it through the day?

Beast or Burden

I have an injured right thumb so it makes it quite difficult to work the keyboard and the mouse. My bandaged thumb slips right off the mouse and my pointer finger gets confused hits buttons and off I go somewhere on an Internet site that I was not aiming for. Such is life - always getting sidetracked or derailed.

The cause of my thumb injury is sitting in the window just glaring at me. She's a beast and sometimes a burden but mostly a pain in the caboose. Her temperament is at best evil. She rubs up against you in pure delight and when you go to acknowledge her presence she nails you with her dagger claws.

Sometimes I do torment her and as always I end up with the short end of the stick. This weekend I was rubbing her backside (worst part of her body to touch) and she nailed my thumb - I pulled away with her deadly claw stuck in the end of my thumb. OUCH!!!!! So the throbbing thumb is all bandaged up and still painful. My bad.

I am hoping this injury doesn't end up as 'cat scratch fever'.

Imperfect Order

Hubby and I have been having this discussion, issue, family chat or whatever one calls a family dispute. You know (I hate that phrase 'you know') about the dishwasher - no less. We are not into solving world peace or the economy blight but our discussion includes - how to place silverware in the dishwasher. To be more specific - does one place the sharp knives up or down.
I am a well documented klutz. It's an art that I take seriously and perform it with absolutely no grace. If I had the lead role of the dancing swan I would surely trip and break a bone without even trying, fall off the edge of the stage or have the chandelier fall on me. That's me. Sharp objects should be kept away from me at all costs.
Hubby knows my talents but still insists that the sharp knives go pointy side up inside the dishwasher. He says when they are placed in the down position (not as lethal to me) they cut into the plastic utensil container. So what! Who cares? This is my life and body parts I am worrying about. Sharp objects and me do not see eye to eye. Once I removed the entire part of a finger with garden shears and they weren't even sharp. It hurt! Another time I shut my hand in the side gate and lost another portion of my skin and cells. It hurt! The list goes on and on and I have the scars to prove my inability to do normal tasks. I try to stay away from sharp objects.
So I have poked myself numerous times placing the knifes in the upright position in the dishwasher. I have decided not to follow his rules with pointy side facing my fingers. He whines and complains about how I am damaging the appliance. It's a piece of plastic - almost worthless. But me and my body parts are fragile and when injured quite expensive.
So I buckled the other day and followed his rule of lethal weapons pointing upward. My third finger on the right hand is now sporting a very large band aid to cover a 2 inch slice on my finger. It hurts! It is ironic that the injured finger is the middle finger and I show the injured digit to hubby at least once an hour.