Does this fur make my butt look fat?

Are cats as really vain as they appear to be???? I mean they're always sitting around preening themselves - licking their long sharp nails. Sitting right there in your favorite seat as if they were in charge of the throne and certainly acting like they are the critter in charge.

And then that LOOK they toss your way especially if you try to get them to move from their throne. The prissy way they eat their food or not eat their food. They stick that little nose right up in the air along with that bushy tail and saunter away like one would dismiss a fast food haunt.

After the kitty bearing years or hopefully way before that happens they just let themselves go. The belly appears looming like saddlebags from a rodeo show. It hangs low to the ground and flaps back and forth as they walk from one sunny spot to the next. They sprawl on their back four legs split apart and that belly flab just sitting there like a mass of lard. At this point in time they can't do as much preening due to the enormous mound of belly flubber.

And then the whine when they think they need something. And that could be just a back rub or a head scratch but they want it now. If action is not taken according to their time schedule a slap as you walk by reminds you of their wants. Do not be even two minutes late at feeding time because the wrath is unbearable.

But still they give anyone and everyone that LOOK like - 'Look at me I'm so special and sooo pretty - now get out of my way and get me some canned cat food.'

Economic Hardships

Money does not grow on trees like I previously thought. Sometimes my fantasy world is a lot happier place than my real world. In the real world I go to work every day, get a paycheck (not much) and pay bills. Prices for everything have escalated but my income has stayed right where it has been - stuck in the mud.

In Japan restaurants have compensated for these tough economic times by employing monkeys. Yes, monkey waiters. Perhaps we should give that a try. We may get better service and we can tip them with peanuts.

I have tightened my money spending by no longer feeding the birds this includes the seagulls at the beach. 'Let them fend for themselves', is my new motto. When dining out, usually at a fast food location and always from the 99 cent menu, I make sure to get extra napkins, utensils and condiments. I no longer have to purchase napkins, ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, salt and pepper or mints. It has been a great savings on my grocery bill.

I have found a fantastic way to have dinner out without spending a dime. Some stores give out free samples of food. I know all of them. The kiosk in the mall are big on this during the holidays. No one has said anything to me about the grazing although some of the food preparers give me strange looks. One does have to make several stops at the same pizza sample station. The pieces are very small. The deli's are my favorite. They just place the food right out there with no one watching or passing it out. It's a help yourself buffet.

Another fantastic meal is the financial seminars. They are usually held at great restaurants but you must listen to the speaker for at least an hour. There is one financial planner that has his seminars at a steak house. MMMMMM. Always ask for more rolls and butter to take home with you as it makes a tasty late night snack. If you are lucky you can attend three or four a month without ever spending your hard earned cash.

Harry and David's is an all time favorite. They even have coffee. Their cups are way too small so one day I just took in my own cup. Ice cream parlors is another favorite. You can sample every flavor they have. They will not let you sample the toppings - darn! Making the rounds at these food giveaways is a real night out for hubby and me. Pickings may be slim after the holidays so the movie Wedding Crashers has given me another idea.

Not Ninja's

I have these 6 great turtles that I love. They bring me an inner peace and lots of laughs. Unfortunately they are not the brightest crayons in the box. They are extremely fascinating to watch. The interaction they have with people and each other is amazing. Feeding time is my favorite time.

When food is involved there is always a feeding frenzy. The smallest one's are the most aggressive. They normally are very 'clickish' except for feeding time and then it's 'every turtle for himself'.

Big Al, is a male but he has the best mothering instincts. The little one's cling to his back and cower beneath him when frightened. Big Al always waits till the little one's get their fill before he eats. He likes to watch the world. He floats lazily around the outside pond just chillin.

Their food preferences are very different. Cooter really prefers the reptile pellets. Louise will eat anything. I try to feed Cooter and Louise off to the side with the pellets and then give the brine shrimp to the babies. They are like wild piranha's. They snatch the shrimp from one another, push each other out of the way and dive to the bottom with their tasty morsel. They have no manners. Their little legs move faster than lightening. Sometimes they take the food and hide under the sunbathing dock. This piece was made special for them by hubby so they could get a good sunbath on top or hide under it for protection.

So Romeo was wild for another piece of brine shrimp and his little jaws were a snapping (good thing he is not a snapping turtle) he was swimming around in a frenzy and he snapped at the pump cord. He shook it as hard as he could and then let go in frustration. Not the flavor he liked - I guess. Good thing the GFI's (ground fault interrupters) work so well.

My babies may not be the brightest crayons in the box but they sure do brighten my life. Also - they don't bark, jump on visitors, bite the mailman, barf on the rugs, whine for food and get in late night cat fights beneath the bedroom window.

The Cat in the Hat is Fat

I read an article about fat cats - obsese cats. I own a fat cat, she's very fat - she's obese. She has this little tiny head and this humungous body. She reminds me of Marlon Brando. The article stated that it is unhealthy for cats to be fat -DUH. It's unhealthy for all of us to be fat.

They specified - NO Grazing. She's not a cow she's a cat. Apparently grazing means keeping the cats food bowl filled to the brim. When we plan to be gone for the weekend I use an automatic feeder that holds approximately a full bag of catfood. She generally eats the whole thing. We have left her alone for far too many weekends.

I have tried to cut back and feed her only twice a day but that makes her a very unhappy camper cat. She turns into a demon. She howls and swats at you when you walk by her. In the evening she jumps up in bed and bites your feet. She's evil. She demands her food and doesn't give up until she is satisfied. It's difficult to live with an unhappy camper cat. Try it and you will understand.

I switched her over to a lowfat catfood and that did not go over well. At first she refused to eat any of it and kept us terrorized for days. She finally ate some but lets us know (verbally) how displeased she was. We keep her food on the kitchen counter (some may see this as gross but we have two dogs) and she blocks the entry into the kitchen. She stands guard by the empty dish and smacks us with her sharp,sharp claws when we try to pass.

FEED ME. Life is easier when we cater to her wishes. I have told her many times that being fat will bring her to an early death but she ignores my advice. Let me rethink this problem - fat cat - early death....hhhhmmmm. I'm off to the pet store to buy a LARGE bag of cat food. I will fill her automatic feeder to the brim.