What women want

There was a movie once with that title - 'What Women want', but they missed the mark by a mile or more. I guess I should speak for myself and not clump all women together because we obviously want different things in life.
In a divorce the assets are split 50-50. I want the assets split without the divorce. I want control over the t.v remote in the bedroom. I want it and I want it now and forever. So, you know who you are - keep your hands off my assets. It's mine. You control the living room t.v. remote so stop being so selfish and leave mine alone.
Wow - I feel better already for stating my wants and needs. Now, I've got to find a place to hide my t.v. remote from - he who cannot be named.
If the truth be told this is really what women want. Remote control. Perhaps groups could be started to get this movement into the limelight. Support groups for serious offenders would spread like the wildfires in Myrtle Beach.
Oprah could do a program on how women can take back control of the t.v. remote. Maury Povich can do DNA testing of t.v. remotes to see which suspect uses the t.v. remotes the most. Chris Hansen could do a t.v. remote sting on who tries to control the remotes. Dr. Phil could help us come to grips with our emotions. We could even involve Judge Judy for she would side with the women. Wouldn't she? The local news could slip in a few catty remarks in their morning fluff stories. Then, we could get political and see who hogs the t.v. remotes the most - Democrats or Republicans? And are these t.v. remote hogs mostly male?
What women really want would be changed to what women are entitled to.