To breathe or not to breathe

How strange life is! My entire life I have always loved animals and collected them. My world is changing. My life is on a downward spiral. My breathing is no longer a joy or effortless. My asthma is defining new rules for me and I don't like it. Not at all. Animals - dander the culprit of evil. My pets.
What does one do? The silly fools that they are become an important part of your family, your life and the way you live and enjoy life. Then, you are knocked off your feet - breathless. And I do mean breathless.
The cat has been banned from the bedroom haven and this does not make her a happy camper. After nine years of being the queen of the king size bed she has been dethroned. Now she is confused and upset. I suppose the stress of it all is the reason why she has puked up her guts in hubbies hat that has sat on the counter in the same place for years with no nasty episodes.
Next is the dog who sheds more fur than a winter snowstorm in central New York. Hair is everywhere even places he never goes. I've found his hair in the refrigerator.
I did find a product at the pet store that is rubbed on the critters once a week that is supposed to remove their dander and make the life of an asthmatic a little easier. We can only hope!
Perhaps my life will return to some type of normalcy. What is normal????

Fall From Grace

The world and the media have put Tiger Woods on public trial, convicted him and sentenced him without a partial jury - in fact no jury at all. We have placed a large Scarlet 'A' on his golf jersey.
Once again a prominent and excellent sports hero (one that has been placed high on a pedestal) has fallen right before our glued to the t.v. and tabloids eyes. A sports figure that is paid mega bucks to perform his game. A glass figurine in a China shop where bulls shop. WHAM, BAMM, thank you mam.
Makes me wonder why? we pay athletes sooo much money? Yes, the are superb in their allotted field. What corrupts them? Money? Fame? Being on that pedestal? Untouchable? Omnipotence?
The sadness of the situation is that Tiger did many good things but as right now they all mostly kicked under the rug or forgotten. He has been an inspiration to many including the youngster who play on the First Tee. His name is whispered and shouted at many youth golf tournaments. He is (or was ) their hero. In some he inspired their passion for the game. What now? That the silver has tarnished?
My own 9 year old granddaughter plays on the First Tee and I wonder what thoughts are swirling around in her head? What impact will this have on her and her love for the game and one of her hero's?
I for one understand that we all are human and make mistakes but when the world spotlight shines upon you - could you not be a little more discreet or morally responsible? I used to refer to my budding little golf star as Tigress Woods. No more. I guess I have also slightly convicted another sports star without all the proof.
How many young souls has this man let down? Perhaps if we do not carve humans into ice crystals and place them high on the pedestal they will never fall and our impressionable children will not loose their glass hero.

Fairway Rules of the Road

WOW!!! How exciting my first time on a golf course and my first time watching my granddaughter play in a tournament. Not just any run of the mill tournament a three day George Holliday tournament at the Nationals Golf Course in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

She had great scores and today is the final playoffs - I'm thinking that's what you call the final day. Her scores are great and she is expected to come in second place. She has done an awesome job. We have started calling her 'Bunker Babe' because she gets her ball into the bunkers and sand traps. And then she does a fantastic recovery getting the ball out.

Apparently there are rules (not posted anywhere) when one is on a golf course - playing or not! I watched Caddyshak and Happy Gilmore tooooo many times. Go Rodney Dangerfield.

There were a few things - like rules - that I did not know about the golf course. First - Whisper - and turn off the cell phone. Got a lot of ugly stares for those two infractions. Walking in front of golfers before they hit the ball is another no-no. Sorry! Driving the golf cart over the ball that landed in a bunker and then driving the cart in front of where Kayla needed to hit the ball was another misstep. "Always stay behind the ball, if she hits the cart she will get a penalty", was my sons' comment. Snapping pictures just at the moment of swing was another faux pau no-no.

There are very few bathroom facilities on this golf course. I saw one across the greens and away I went. OOOPS! More ugly looks from golfers hitting that little white ball. There were no( 'Do Not Enter' signs. My next infraction was to drive like a maniac around a hairpin curve right right as a golfer (didn't look at me with happy thoughts) was starting to make a swing. How was I to know you don't go cruising by when they make a shot? They hand signals they used were intimidating.

Now, I'm feeling like an outcast and I want to change clothes so they can no longer recognize me or hide out in the clubhouse and drink hot toddies all afternoon.

I wish I had known about all these rules and regulations before my entrance into the world of golfing. Live and learn.

Way tooooo go Kayla...........We are sooooo proud of you.....

Pretty in Pink

The cool morning mist tickles my freckled skin and sends shivers across my arms. Quiet flows elegantly across the earth. Total tranquility and peace tenderly wraps my heart in a sheet of crinkled tissue paper.

Mauve pink fog hangs heavy in the air casting shadows of imagination. Forms swirl and become entities of today and perhaps tomorrow. Yellow streetlights meld with the pink fog making a kaleidoscope atmosphere. Carnival colors bring a sense of happiness and inspiration.

A November morning breaking through the darkness of night adding sparkle to a new day. Tall beautiful palm trees stand still against the painted backdrop of daybreak. A little buzzing of a moth trapped inside the lanai begins to break the silence and solitude. The sun still hidden away behind the landscape of Tuesday.

Like a selfish mortal I absorb all that mother earth offers. And she offers all her splendid wonders to all who wish for satisfaction and joy. The pinkish hues, the quiet silence bathe my soul in contentment.

PRICELSS!!!

Emotional Therapy

There are times in my life when I am awash, burdened, exhausted and overwhelmed by the mere act of life. Sickness, family issues, work funk, finances, the weather, world unrest, taxes and everyday stress become a powerful negative force. It builds till it begins to bend with the heaviness of difficult circumstances. The weight of the world collapsing around every movement drawing me down. Fresh air turning to staleness filled with the stench of decaying matter. I can feel myself slowly sinking like solidified silt to the sad sea of sorrow. Woe is me.

When I get to this low point I know affirmative action needs to be taken. So, today - midweek - I grabbed the bull by the horns - or Carpe Diem - seized the day and off I went into the wild blue yonder for emotional therapy. And the cost was well within my budget. FREE. Filled up the gas tank - yuck - that brought back negativity with the rising prices. Packed a lunch lots of water, a gala apple and tossed in the camera. I placed a happy smile on my face and headed to the ocean. Actually it was the Gulf of Mexico. Honeymoon Island State Park a most precious place to obtain emotional therapy.

As my feet deliberately hit the cold, wet, hard sand I trudged forward along the beach. I walked with no particular purpose or expectation. The terrain was rough as was my insides. Then as if by magic the world around me began to change and welcome me.

The cold, hard, wet sand where I was leaving only footprints suddenly turned to fresh picked fluffy cotton. As my feet connected to mother earth my body, mind, spirit and soul transformed. Violent white capped waves beat relentlessly against the shore. The salty sea breeze tickled my nose and wrapped me in mist. If I were an energy drink guzzler - this is what I would feel. Exhilaration. A complete and total massage of the soul. I felt free and peaceful.

The wind unfurled her drama and whisked off the whitecaps sending them high onto the beach. Gulls flew fast against the wind, gliding without effort. My emotional therapy was lifting me up and wrapping me with kindness. All my worries were tossed into the surf.

How great that a walk along the beach can filter out despair and energize the soul. And then halfway back the rain came down in torrents and plastered my wind blown hair across my face. It felt so good.

Breaking News

I have just heard the MOST disturbing news. There are certain shoes that make you look fat. OMG!!!! I know about the jeans that make your butt look fat (probably really is fat) but now they are blaming shoes.

What's a girl to do? If your favorite shoes make you look fat do you stop wearing them? Or only wear them at night? Do you buy a whole new shoe wardrobe that makes you look non-fat? Is this a hype put on by shoe distributors to increase their sales?

As for me and my shoes - even if they make me look fat - I will still wear my favorites.

Color me blue

For Halloween our team at school (The Toucan Team) decided to be crayons. We even had someone dressed as the box of Crayola Crayons. Our crayon outfits were made of felt and really looked terrific. The back of the crayon costume was held together with that magical 'Velcro'.
What did we do before 'Velcro'? But even Velcro has its drawbacks. It could have been that the Velcro we used to hold together our lovely felt crayon costumes was a tad bit old. It did not stick the way we expected it to.
I'm sitting in one of the blue plastic kiddie chairs in the classroom and my Velcro became disengaged. With the haunting season upon us - I think some ghostly apparition was playing a trick on me. I stood up and I was somehow????? velcroed to the blue plastic chair.
Now I look like a melted yellow crayon dripping endlessly on a blue plastic kiddie chair. How embarrassing. How is it possible that the Velcro would not-could not stay attached to my felt costume but became stuck like permanent epoxy to the blue plastic kiddie chair?
Do I now walk around school attached to a piece of furniture and pretend it is a part of the costume? Perhaps no one will notice. And then for another strange unknown reason the batteries in my camera went dead as a doornail. So I have no proof of this strange and bizarre haunting. The paranormal brigade will never believe me.

It is what it is

And I thought all the weirdos lived in Florida. Not a day goes by in the sunshine state where some senior runs their car into a building and occasionally into a crowd of people. I thought I stepped on the brake, my foot slipped, I just don't know how this happened, are many of the excuses. You are too old to be driving - get off the road.
And then there was the driver who had no arms. Yes, he lost both of his arms, did not have a valid license and drove with his feet - while drunk. He had so many tickets they would have filled a grocery cart. He continued to drive till they locked him up and threw away the key.
Now, Florida has been outdone by a northern state in the driving scenarios. Lazy-boy here he comes with the pedal to the metal.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lounge_chair_dwi

Orionid Meteor Show

In the early hours of this beautiful quiet morning I lay nestled in the grass gazing upward toward the great sky. I searched with anticipation for the meteor show. I thought my location would have a direct view but - no - I was sadly disappointed. I scanned the darkened sky for anything with movement to no avail. I saw a plane race across the sky to some unknown destination but that was all.
60 meteors per minute sounds like a great display to me. It seems like I should see just one. The grass was cold and my patience was dissipating. I went back inside but could not resist the force. 'The force be with you', I believe that was a Jedi saying? I imagined that they encountered many meteor sightings on their expeditions. I trudged back outside wrapped in my fleece robe and looked up. I waited.
The stars were not aligned properly for my benefit or perhaps I was too close to city pollution to reap the best of show. It was still a calming effect laying in the cold grass looking into the wild blue yonder. Today, there will be no wishes upon a shooting star - just reality.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20091020/sc_space/getoutorionidmeteorshowerpeaksovernight

N1H1 internet scams

Browse the Internet for many swine flu cures and remedies. Most likely they are all scams or poppycock. You need a prescription to buy Tamiflu. This means it cannot be purchased over the Internet. HELLO! Is anybody home?

My potion to avoid the swine flu (H1N1) is to wash your hands, wash your hands and wash your hands. After those hands are scrubbed clean many, many times per day watch where you place them. Freshly washed hands on a public doorknob is a big NO NO. You have just accepted someone else's germs onto your body part which may eventually touch your mouth, nose or another body part.

I carry disinfectant wipes with me. I try never, never to touch doors, handles and other objects. This can become quite a task and may seem obsessive compulsive. Whatever! Do the best you can. When exiting a public restroom - I never, ever touch the door. Think about all those people who used the facility and did not wash their hands. YUCK. Pull out your disposable wipe or use a paper towel to exit the facility.
Many grocery stores offer wipes to cleanse carts and baskets that you use. Great idea but then the items are placed on a belt with many, many germs. We are surrounded by those nasty germs.

Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands!!!!!

Achoo...time to sneeze. Those little nasties can fly for miles and miles and miles. Contain your sneezes if possible. Contain them in a tissue or in the bend of your elbow. But then the little nasties are on your body or clothes but they are your little nasties. Wip out those wipes. Remind others to cover the cough or sneeze.

Wash your hands, wash your hands - again and again.

Exploding Anole

Remember the photo from the Florida Everglades of a huge boa trying to devour an alligator. It didn't quite work out the way the boa had intended.

I found an anole (some people refer to them as gecko's) trying to suck down a dragonfly. Please pass the pepcid.

Reminds me of a certain insurance company and how they use animals in their commercials. Which reminds me more of how many insurance companies devour their customers.

The food chain in action. Or big business in action?

The law of attraction!

Finding the Flute Festival

I gotta git a Garmin to save my sanity and gas. This getting lost continues to happen to me. Last weekend we ended up on the Atlantic Coast - no where near where we should have been.

On one of my trolling adventures on the Internet (looking for jewelry making classes) I stumbled upon a Flute Festival. Sounded awesome and they had handmade jewelry.

Once again I downloaded the directions from the site. Oh what I would do for a Garmin!!!! You'd think I would have learned my lesson from the coastal disaster - but NO.

So off we go - into the wild blue yonder and believe me it was wild. Dirt roads, cows walking down the middle of them and few and far between road signs. We never did find Fergerson Ave where we were supposed to make a slight left. What is a slight left? Is it a real turn or just a pretend turn?

Thank goodness for a car with great gas mileage and a full tank. Round and round the country side we traveled looking for the Flute Festival. And me clutching directions that were no valid directions at all. Finally after hours of frustration we found the Festival and it was worth every nasty comment and wrong turn.

But I oh so need a Garmin to set me straight.

Moon Landing - BOOM!

7:29 AM Eastern time - I lay outside doing my Yoga breathing looking up - watching. Watching and waiting for the moon to fall to pieces and drop from the sky - Falling from Grace. Assault on her surfaces - a seemingly violation of Mother Nature. But she stayed there up above our world holding her own and perhaps wondering - 'fools?'

I ponder about how much water conservation we could do with a pot of $79 million dollars. I thought about how we could recycle, save lives and improve society with $79 million dollars. In an instant I saw $79 million dollars explode out there in the universe. And I saw nothing!

I worked on my deep breathing.

Moon Shadows

The moon blast is scheduled to take place tomorrow morning. We're going to bomb that orb supposedly looking for water. What if the moon is fragile and tilts a little to the left like the left? What if we disturb her orbit? What if all that dust that will be sent to us causes lunacy? Will some humans end up with moon dust disease? Will this fallout kill all the dinosaurs?

Will we be able to purchase moon sinkhole insurance on our homes? And will you be taking more taxes from my paycheck to pay for this lunacy liaison?

I still believe it would be more cost effective and more environmentally friendly to - shoot the moon - just by dropping our drawers. I shall reread one of my favorite books - Goodnight Moon.

Shoot The Moon

Wouldn't it be more fun, cheaper and a little like living on the wild side if we dropped our drawers and shot the moon with our backside? One would have to be careful where they - shot the moon - with a body part so as not to be hauled away in the paddy wagon.

We are spending millions of dollars on - shooting the moon - with rockets to see if there's water way up there. Let me check my calculations!!!!! Many Americans are unemployed unable to afford a home and have no health insurance. Our economy has tanked well below the - low water mark. But we have money to burn on bogus trips to the moon. Abusive trips at best. Remember what we did to the Everglades for enrichment.

Who are these people who plan these strategies? Are they from the Moon? Perhaps they want to destroy the evidence.

My strategies as in - shooting the moon with our own body parts seems a better fit for this world.

Blackjack Trainer

There was a song by a band called 'Counting Cars', I found a site called Blackjack Trainer and it teaches you on how to count cards at Blackjack. This is much more productive than counting cars. I wrote a review of this awesome site.

Blackjack Trainer

If you are interested in winning at Blackjack or improving your odds or using new and exciting strategies you need to check out this site, http://theblackjacktrainer.com. It’s a hands on interactive site with numerous tutorials, tips and strategies.
It teaches you numerous techniques even how to play blackjack and implement strategies. Card counting is made easy and simple. The winning strategies are top secret and have been proven. Take a test drive on the sites free Blackjack trainer. After utilizing the basic strategies the tutorials you can move on to the more advanced tips and strategies. Use the free Blackjack simulator to practice and become an expert at blackjack. A winning streak waits just around the corner for you. If your ultimate goal is to be an optimal blackjack player this site has it all.

Jay B. Starkey Wilderness Park

Flipping through the endless channels on the television and I am presented with many commentators who put down our government, exploit families and make their own brand of headline news. I open the local paper and I can read about gloom and doom. The housing bust, the unemployment and the crime that seems to be everywhere. I browse the Internet and find celebrity stars that are having a bad hair day and increase in childhood obesity. The obesity issue can be fixed! The bad hair day - who cares?

I am surrounded and inundated by negativity. I feel like my senses are assaulted on a daily basis.

Where is the good? Where is the upbeat? Where is the positive?

That can be found tucked in a corner of the newspaper in very small print with an even smaller caption. Forget about hearing the good stuff on the evening news. And if you are not a big time celebrity or writing a book about lust you won't be listed on the Internet.

I came across a small article in the local paper - tucked discreetly away. Why isn't this plastered in BIG BOLD print for all to see and feel good about? Why is it that negativity takes precedence?

In the Pasco section next to the Hometown News is a wonderful and inspiring story.

Sandra Fleming, a park attendant at Jay B. Starkey Wilderness Park in New Port Richey, has been recognized by Pasco County for her assistance in helping a women injured at the park. Hooray for you Sandra Fleming!!!!!! Pasco County congratulates this park attendant.

Why can't we hear more of the positive that is out there? Too much negativity just deepens negativity. Let's focus on the positive side of life.

Visit the park and indulge in tranquility. http://www.swfwmd.state.fl.us/recreation/areas/starkey-park.html

Forever Florida

Moove over here come the Cracker Cattle. These spectacular Florida cows lives a great life on the Flying J Ranch associated with the Allen David Brussard Conservancy an area called Forever Florida.

http://www.foreverflorida.com

We Be Friends

Jim the box turtle and Toad the toad, named after the toad character in the book 'Frog and Toad' are just chillin-out in their cement (plastic) pond.

In the mornings I have noticed Toad just a sittin and a chillin in Jim's pond. He doesn't seem to be afraid or worried about me checking him out - it's more like I am the intruder - intruding upon him.

This morning I find Jim and Toad just being friends in the small person-made pond in Jim's habitat.

We are Wack

An e-mail gone wack.

The way the week went.

The ceiling in our garage fell in, breaking the wire that is connected to the garage door opener so it closes and immediately opens back up. Rob is working on that. I went to the doctors about my hand and his suggestion was to live with the pain and do not grip anything with my right hand. When I told Rob about this his response was - "Tell the doctor your husband will not stand for this." I'm not sure what Rob means? Oh wait - now I get it.
Rob and I both received our flu shots.
I have a training next week about tutoring after school. I also will be attending classes on Photoshop for 9 weeks. Today I will be coloring my hair to appear 10 years younger.
Yesterday we went to Orlando and bought our rock tumbler and went to work. I have made this project Rob's hobby to keep him busy. We are excited about getting our rocks off to a good start.
We went to Basin at Downtown Disney and bought sea scrub to make us 10 years younger. Stopped in at Ghirradellis for free chocolate - dark chocolate will make us 5 years younger and then I bought lots of green veggies to slice away more years. Soon we will be back to the diaper stage. Will probably have to buy depends.

Cabin Fever - Never

My thoughts on my retirement home.


http://blog.diynetwork.com/blogcabin/

10 Reasons Why Rain is Good on a Saturday

It's Saturday - a non work day - time to chill - relax - have fun - kick back - whatever - BUT - it's raining. We need the rain and I am grateful for that BUT it interferes with my weekend. Uggg. My ponds are low so the rain is a benefit. My grass, actually it's more weeds than grass But who's looking? It also is in need of the rain. So I should stop my whining and be happy BUT still a wet weekend was not in my plans.
To chase away the Royal blues caused by the rain I made a list of why the rain is beneficial.


1. help Florida with the draught
2. fill the lakes and ponds that are low (including mine)
3. green up the grass (still a ban on watering the lawn everyday)
4. help flowers blossom
5. fill up swimming pools (saves on the water bill)
6. washes the cars for free (still a ban on washing cars at home)
7. washes away all the debri from the sidewalk and driveway
8. helps us locate the leak in the bedroom ceiling
9. makes the air smell like fabric softener
10. keeps me inside to clean the house

Making that list was rather easy and it has lifted part of my royal blues to a shade of sky blue. Now I can get busy doing the laundry waxing the floors and cleaning out the garage. And all this on my day off. Yahoo!!!!

Obama's Speech

We try to teach our children to be polite, considerate, truthful and the art of cooperation. What happened last night during the Presidential speech? Republican Rep. Joe Wilson was rude, inconsiderate and very unprofessional. Mr. Wilson you set a bad example. How can we teach our children right from wrong when we give them 'elected' role models that have no integrity?
I hope that you are shamed by actions that were captured on tape for the entire world to hear and see.
Mr. Wilson such a horrible disservice to Americans, especially those that helped you obtain this office. Obviously you were sitting on respect and public decorum. Or perhaps you changed positions with your head and backside and last night we were able to see the real you for what it is.
I may or may not agree with what our president says but I would never disrespect the Commander and Chief. Yes, we do have rights to our opinions but they should be spoken in a professional manner and not during an important speech. Mr. Wilson you owe Americans an apology for your unprofessional behavior.
Is this the kind of behavior we want our children to be exposed to? If an elected official does not respect the president how can they be beneficial to the public that has placed him in office? Mr. Wilson - 'If you can't say something nice - say nothing at all'. If you were ever on a pedestal it has surely crumbled and sits at your feet in ruin.

Beast or Burden

I have an injured right thumb so it makes it quite difficult to work the keyboard and the mouse. My bandaged thumb slips right off the mouse and my pointer finger gets confused hits buttons and off I go somewhere on an Internet site that I was not aiming for. Such is life - always getting sidetracked or derailed.

The cause of my thumb injury is sitting in the window just glaring at me. She's a beast and sometimes a burden but mostly a pain in the caboose. Her temperament is at best evil. She rubs up against you in pure delight and when you go to acknowledge her presence she nails you with her dagger claws.

Sometimes I do torment her and as always I end up with the short end of the stick. This weekend I was rubbing her backside (worst part of her body to touch) and she nailed my thumb - I pulled away with her deadly claw stuck in the end of my thumb. OUCH!!!!! So the throbbing thumb is all bandaged up and still painful. My bad.

I am hoping this injury doesn't end up as 'cat scratch fever'.

MBT shoes

Just started wearing my MBT sandals. Instant relief for my back pain. My sandals are not quite as ugly as some of the shoes.

Tigress Golfer

Way to go Kayla. Check out this video.





http://www2.scnow.com/scp/video/detail/146d764c-e6da-102c-bc4d-001ec92a4a0d/72542/

Crocs VS FitFlops

Move over Crocs - get outta the way - take a hike. My allegiances have moved completely over to Fit Flops. Yes, they are more expensive BUT they are worth it. And they are not as clownish as those comfy Crocs - sorry. My dear old Crocs have been relegated to pool deck wear and yard work shoes.
Now Fit Flops come in slides.

http://www.fitflopsandal.com/womens_fitflops/

IKEA

I spent an entire day (almost) at the new Ikea store in Tampa. What a charming and tiring experience. It started in the parking lot and ended at the exit. Drive your car right up to the exit door and load up your goodies.
Lunch was very, very good and inexpensive. Free refills on soda. OOOHHHH - wonderful.
Two floors and acres and acres of STUFF. All kinds of STUFF. Stuff you need, stuff you don't need and fluffy stuff. After all that walking try out one of their comfy chairs - sit a spell - play a game of cards, balance your checkbook, let the kids run wild ( a little), swoon over the fabulous kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms.
Go back to the cafe for desert or snag an ice cream cone. Try out one of their couches, kick back put your feet up. Then get lost in the self service warehouse. And there is no admission charge.
Ikea has a great idea. And I spent a grand total of $4.23.

under the microscope

The news of the day is - Michelle Obama appeared in public wearing shorts. I understand she is the first lady and she was on 'vacation'. Does one lose all of their 'self' when they step into the role of 'First Lady'? Shall we sew on a large red scarlet letter to the back of her shorts? And have her walk around in shame for the choice she chose for her wardrobe? Etiquette? Or a slow news day or a news day with nothing substantial to report.
Let's refocus here. The media needs to sell news - make money and keep us informed. Why isn't that focus on what really matters - what really makes the world spin. Like education - the economy - unemployment - recovery from hard times - whirled peas - hurricane Bill.


http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92923?fp=1

Predators

I am sitting outside, drinking coffee with a splash of half and half ( no more calorie laden creamer ) and absorbing the splendid beauty of the morning. A slight gulf breeze surrounding me. Almost complete silence. In the distance a few birds chirp halfheartedly. No traffic noise, no sirens wailing and no neighbor noises. Quiet. Soft. Relaxing. Just sitting there sucking in all the beauty of a end of summer Florida morning.
I feed the water turtles and talk with them a bit. Sit by Jim's habitat and toss his some fresh plucked grass. Survey his soggy burrows squashed almost flat by yesterdays rainstorms. Feeling cozy and relaxed.
The pale blue sky littered with white tattered clouds. Shards of the morning sun trying to break through. The whiteness not yet above the roof line of the house next door. Still the quiet. Still the slight breeze. Peaceful and zen like. Then the sun makes her appearance cresting the roof line of the house next door. Needing sunglasses to protect the eyes.
Dropping instantly right out of the sky. Was a hawk. A beautiful hawk. A hawk with a mission. He lands right on the edge of the turtle pond. My heart thumps wildly inside my chest. He is magnificent. He is in the wrong place. Splintering my quiet morning.
I walk slowly and light footed toward the turtle enclosure. He tilts his head and gives me that look like I am budging in the breakfast buffet line. Nervous about going closer and worried about my turtles being number one on his menu - I edge closer. He stands his ground and flinches. He flies a few feet away and lands on the fence. That look is shot at me again.
I slip closer to my turtle habitat close the lid and give him that look. His hawk eyes glued to my movements. He dances. He stares. He bounces a few steps away and finally feeling defeat flies away. Jim's enclosure has no lid. How easily could he be grasped in the angry talons and carted away for an appetizer?
My beautiful relaxing morning now scorched by the sun bursting over the roof line where the hawk watches me with hawky eyes and an empty stomach. My coffee cup empty and needing a refill but afraid to leave the turtles to a predator waiting for a meal.

Insomnia

What do you do when insomnia has her evil grip on you? You've counted sheep, listened to soft music, counted to 100 backwards, bought a new bed and tried relaxation tips till the cows came home. What happened to the sheep?
Insomnia clutches at your very being - inside - and shakes you restless. She rolls along to the top of the roller coaster and then suspends you in mid air. The tracks shake, your body shakes but sleep is elusive.
Put up your dukes and fight it with all your might and willpower. Still she holds on with her death grip and won't let go. Toss and turn to throw the monkey off your back - to no avail. Drink this, eat that, do this, do that, do everything but still she drags you down.
Take a pill? No thanks. I will fight this battle on my own. If only a good nights' sleep.

Last Nite

The moon a toe of garlic suspended from the heavens - still - silent and glowing with a sense of satisfaction. White cotton batting clouds cling to the edges of the toe garlic moon in celebration of beauty. Tiny, tinny stars sparkle with enthusiasm and hypnotise pale blue eyes to the far away world of night.

Wind is undeniably sleeping again beneath the blaze of lights scattered across the blue blackness of eternal space. The great metal flying cranes of the night sky have taken a detour from their usual pathway. Silence is the main ingredient.

Curtains of air thick and drippy wait for instructions. A knife wielding chef would be unable to dice, chop or slice through the translucent molecules. Every breathe is felt with urgency and delight.

A whirring sound makes its entrance into the perfect picture of night. Mosquito sprays of death foul the air and corrupt the evening sensation. Gaseous odors flow easily with destruction their main objective. Eventually the air absorbs the fumes and the remains fall unnoticed upon the floor of the earth. Solitude and silence are restored - if only for a few moments.

A soft rumbling noise, barely a noise yet, brings forward images of a baby rustling against the soft baby sheets and warm footed sleeping cargo that encase the soft squirming body. A slight sound that brings to the surface a warm tingling feeling. Bubbling like soda pop.

Butter yellow and gumball pink lights explode behind gigantic white taffy looking clouds. The cracking soft as a kittens purr melts with the artistic painting making its way from behind the clouds. Night almost becomes day as the parade of lights continue to splash wildly against the blue black of night.

The toe garlic moon pulses with life while the not so angry light sprinkles fireworks for the audience. Thick chunky air begins to thin and sway with the rhythm of the storm. A musical melody as cymbals clash, drummers drum and the pied piper calls us all to follow. The toe garlic moon takes a bow and fades from the stage.

A slow salty tear trickles down the landscape of skin and smile to the destination of euphoria. An audience of one has experienced the essence of life.

Crimson

Crimson at the Log Cabin in Port Richey, Florida along with Constantine, Milo and Linda.

Acceptable Risk

I'm reading Acceptable Risk by Robin Cook. It's so predictable - it's vomit provoking. It rates right up there along with V.C. Andrews books. And this book is on the New York Times Bestseller list. What? Are these people breathing in too much smog?

I'm so disappointed in this book and Robin Cook. I'm glad it was borrowed and not purchased, although my time has been stolen for reading this slop. The San Francisco Chronicle has a blurb about suspense mounting as you turn the pages. I must be turning the pages the wrong way or too fast. I have found no suspense just predictability. I am now about 3/4 of the way through the book and the only suspense I have felt is when I left the book out in the rain.

Why do I continue to read this fluff? Perhaps because of my addiction to reading. The summers almost over and my reading supply is running low. I could go to the library. I could do many things. I could put down this book. Is the 'Salem Witch' trying to tell me something.

The book suggest that a dead relative is trying to communicate to a family member and tries to give the illusion that the 'Salem Witch' is watching. I have created an image that appears to be watching. Maybe it is a former (dead) relative leaving me clues or sending me messages.

Training Turtles

I have 6 water turtles and one land turtle. They live in my backyard and have a good life. I sit by their enclosure and watch them for hours. It's great therapy and they all have a different personality. Cooter - a Florida Cooter (hence the name) is the most friendly and aggressive and I think she's a girl. Big Al - a red eared slider is a boy and a bit of a wuss, something went wrong in his childhood. He used to eat right our of my hand but now he hesitates. Cracker - a Cumberland slider is friendly and inquisitive. Romeo and Juliet - yellow bellies are buddies and like to sun themselves, I think they are both boys? Scarface - a red eared slider is the baby and he is bold and goes where no man has gone before. He is the first to try something new.

I have two ponds and the gang can travel back and forth on their own free will. When I clean one pond they all have to be moved to the second pond and this is stressful for them. So, I have decided to train them to move their own carcasses to the other pond without any stress. And it is working. They are exploring their habitat and loving it.

I place food in the pond where I want them to travel and they comply. It takes awhile but I am expecting them to catch on and go a little faster. Sitting and watching the turtles is relaxing and very Zen like. It makes the fast paced world slow down a little bit and remember the race between the rabbit and the hare. Who won? Slow down and enjoy life.

Weeds are my friend

So I'm starting to believe that weeds are really my friends and not my arch enemy. I look at my lawn and after all this rain it's green. Still water restriction on watering lawns - rain is ever so helpful. Yes, I realize that most of my lawn consists of weeds - but they are green weeds. And if one doesn't get too close to inspect my green lawn - they will never know that the green comes from weeds.

And some of those weeds sprout delicate yellow and red flowers. It looks like I have a flower bed planted throughout my lawn. Put away those spectacles and don't look too close.

Green is good even if they are weeds. Mother Nature must know what's she's doing by having these weeds grown all over my lawn.

Don't Pee In The Pool

I feel like I'm turning into a Howard Hughes basket case. Germs, bacteria and other icky stuff has been on my mind a lot lately. I think it started with the swine flu that is no longer called the swine flu - it's now called numbers and letters of which I don't remember. They changed the name so the association of pigs and health hazards weren't confused. The flu is the flu.

When I go to the grocery store I use the sanitizing wipes and clean off the shopping cart. Takes me ten minutes but I feel better. You know who sits in that little space by the handle and sometimes that diaper could leak yucky stuff and land on my cart. Better clean and safe than sorry and sick. And then that moving belt by the cashier. I get ill just thinking about placing my groceries on that belt.

So I started being wary of people in public that look or acted sick or were picking their noses. I keep a small bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse. When using public facilities I wash my hands and open the doors with my shoulder so as not to touch dirty knobs.

I have been using gallons of hand sanitizer, washing my sheets in hot water and scrubbing the house with Lysol. Recently I read that you should not share towels. Body crud and other disgusting microns attach their deadly selves to the towels and then jump on to the next person that uses the towel. Do I want my spouses flaking body particles on me? No.

Many hotels are now leaving little notes about reusing towels and sleeping more than one night on the same sheets. They claim it saves the environment. I may be saving the environment but am I placing my health in jeopardy?

From this day forward I will make housekeeping leave me extra towels. I removed all my pool towels that dry on chairs outside after usage (sharing towels again) and washed them all in hot water. I'm using lots of hot water lately. Can't wait to get the electric bill.

Today I read that 1 out of 5 people pee in the pool. OMG! When urine mixes with chlorine it forms a new agent that can attack the respiratory system. Now I am wondering about my asthma. I'm thinking public pools have just been wiped off my list.

So is this how it started for Howard?

Playing in the Pool

Ron's favorite pastime.

Forever Florida - Orlando horseback riding, Orlando Nature Tours, hiking, camping

Forever Florida - Orlando horseback riding, Orlando Nature Tours, hiking, camping

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Training Tigress Woods

Golfing is her specialty and she is only 8 years old. Move over Tiger Woods - you have some competition. She works diligently with the First Tee. Her scores are terrific. And she wins!

The First Tee is an amazing organization especially for children. The volunteers are supportive and energetic.

http://www.thefirsttee.org/Club/Scripts/Home/home.asp

Roger is Kayla's coach, mentor, supporter and friend. Way to go Roger - thanks for all you do. Keep up the good work Kayla.

Cash for Clunkers

We took advantage of the 'Cash for Clunkers' program and darn glad we did. We were not in the market for a new vehicle and did not necessarily need one but we could not pass up this deal. We traded in an old gas guzzler van with a broken windshield, bald tires, 200,000 miles and making lots of strange noises. I beleive the old girl was on her last legs or wheels.
The new vehicle - 29 miles per gallon (average) is small, cute and practical - 3 % interest from the credit union for 2 years - seems like a bargain.

Lots of interest about this program that could be over.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090731/ap_on_go_co/us_cash_for_clunkers

Forked tongues, appendages and evil deeds

Beware of those that speak with a forked tongue. Many reptiles have forked tongues and Harry Potter can speak Parseltongue. http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Snake Only Harry Potter fans will understand this language.

Stay away from anyone who speakith with forked tongue. Do not listen to them, acknowledge their words or associate with them as they are perceived as the devil or worse. There is an evil darkness that surrounds and mystifies those who speakith with forked tongues.

This very morning I saw a strange species of anole, during my early morning swim in the pool. He was clinging to the screened lanai - waiting for prey. Anole's do not speak and I am not sure if they have forked tongues. This mutant critter did have a fork and it was not in his mouth. He had a forked tail. Oh my! Is a forked tail similar in darkness and evil as a forked tongue?

I slipped quietly from the pool - dripping wet I made my way into the house. The telltale water splashed across the tile floor was evidence that I did not even dry off before entering. I was on a mission. Get the camera - quick. Capture on film this mutant anole with the forked tale. Perhaps he is a new species never before recorded in Florida history. Maybe he was smuggled to Florida from the rain forest. It could be a possibility that I could become famous with the capture (photo) of this rare creature. Or I could take a video (like the Bigfoot video) and become world famous or a jokester gone awry.

I eased my way back outside into the lanai. With very slow movement, high expectations and the thrill of the chase I lifted my camera to catch an image of this strange forked tailed creature for posterity and admiration. Yes, the thought of making money from my photo of this new species of anole exploded in my mind. Doom, darkness and a bit of evil overtook my aspirations of fame. The fool ran off into the bush that leans ever so precariously against the lanai. DRATS!!!!

I will wait for him and watch with the camera always nearby to catch his image and prove to the world or at least myself that a new species or a mutant lives in my backyard.

turned a whiter shade of pale

I am constantly hearing negatives about the new and improved 'health care' system. Politicians are unable to agree on anything that would benefit the American people. Most if not ALL politicians have no worries concerning their health care benefits. First with the salaries they bring home they could afford to pay most of their medical services out of pocket. And for sure their health benefits are right up there next to the gold package. I do not know this for a fact but from what I have observed their benefits and perks out way a normal working individual.

The use of planes to fly on personal business or vacations. The police protection that follows the lieutenant Governor of Florida around all the time. And on and on it goes.

There are so many Americans that are not insured or are under insured - they are forgotten. I have health insurance but still co-pays and prescriptions dry me out. I am thankful for my medical insurance - without that coverage I would be destitute.

Why can't we all just get along and do what is right for the people - ALL the people. Why can't the politicians work as a team? What are our true goals?


A Whiter Shade of Pale
Brooker / Fisher / Reid


We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray
And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale
She said, 'There is no reason
and the truth is plain to see.
'But I wandered through my playing cards
and would not let her be
one of sixteen vestal virgins
who were leaving for the coast
and although my eyes were open
they might have just as well've been closed
She said, 'I'm home on shore leave,
'though in truth we were at sea
so I took her by the looking glass
and forced her to agree
saying, 'You must be the mermaid
who took Neptune for a ride.
'But she smiled at me so sadly
that my anger straightway died
If music be the food of love
then laughter is its queen
and likewise if behind is in front
then dirt in truth is clean
My mouth by then like cardboard
seemed to slip straight through my head
So we crash-dived straightway quickly
and attacked the ocean bed

http://finance.yahoo.com/insurance/article/107408/5-freedoms-you-would-lose-in-health-care-reform.html?mod=insurance-health

Goodnight Chet

Items lost, hero's put to rest. Things stay the same and change. Familiarity makes us feel confident, loved and sure of ourselves.

The voice of Walter Cronkite will forever be etched in my mind. An icon forever. Someone will take his place and life goes on. Slowly he will disappear from our memories like leaves falling off trees. Like dust in the wind. Spring brings new life and new buds.

Wedgies, clogs, water buffalos, high top sneakers and - my favorite Crocs. http://www.crocs.com/ Falling into the great pit of oblivion. A fad no longer fashionable. Something else will replace them and they will become just a passing memory. I have since moved on to 'fitflops'. http://www.fitflopsandal.com/ They will not collect dust beneath my bed but will forever keep the 'under the bed monster' away from me.

A mainstay that hopefully will never go away are 'Kinos'. http://www.kinosandalfactory.com/sandals.html

What is the correlation between a hero - Walter Cronkite and a pair of shoes? Security, freedom and a sense of knowing who you are and what molds you.

Paper Weight

This morning I picked up the local Sunday paper from a corner hawker. I have stopped purchasing my paper from the metal paper machine bandit. The walk kills two birds with one stone. Yuck - I hate killing animals or other critters - except for mosquito's and palmetto bugs. Palmetto bugs is a nice name for cockroaches. When I was a young innocent we called them palmetto bugs but now I know the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. No one wants to say they have cockroaches in their home. So, we twist the truth and make it a little prettier. Back to the weight of paper.

I carried the paper home and realized how small it was. It is shrinking - right along with the economy. When I was that young and innocent child still thinking palmetto bugs were not cockroaches - I knew alot about the Sunday paper. I was up bright and early - way before the sun even thought about painting the morning sky orange and red. It was a family thing that we all had to participate in - no choices in this matter. I helped my dad and brothers put together the Sunday paper and bag them or rubber band them - depending on the weather. We had these brown - very narrow wax like paper bags that the Sunday paper was stuffed into in case of wet weather.

The papers were humongous. It took an art form to roll those papers and get them to fit inside those bags. I liked the mornings with no threat of rain - rubber bands. Mostly I remember trying to get that bundle of paper into the narrow sack.

Today the Sunday paper would have no problem fitting into that brown, waxy, narrow paper sack, although today we use plastic.

The paper that I walked home with seemed very lightweight and not at all like the papers from my youth or for that matter just a few years ago. What is happening to our papers? Why are they getting weightless? No news? No ads? No money to produce the paper? How much has this pathetic economy contributed to the shrinking newspaper? Soon, I will only be able to read the news online.

Bats in the Belfry

Bats in the belfry or citrus rats in the outdoor shed. Both are disgusting, dirty, stinky and gross. We had citrus rats in the outdoor shed - not that I've had lots of citrus on my citrus trees. So why invade my space? That sounds like a t.v. reality show - Invading Spaces. Why not go to the neighbors that have tons of citrus - on the ground - decomposing.

My shed for whatever reason became their haven for dirty deeds. They ate two rugs and a nylon camping cot. It was a nice cot! Why would you eat a camping cot and rugs? I thought you were citrus rats not nylavoirs.

Creepy little animals and they sure made a stink. They are among the homeless as they have been eradicated from my shed. Most likely they will move on to another shed in another yard. Yuck, makes my skin crawl.

After the clean-up doused my hands with bleach, anti bacterial soap, hand sanitizer and then more bleach. Still feel dirty.

5 ways to start your engine

Start the day with a song in your heart and a smile on your face. "Hello it's me', by Todd Rundgren. This morning I sat and looked at the eastern sky painted with streaks of orange and pink. Inspiring.

5 ways to make the day start off right.

1. meditate

2. watch the sunrise

3. dream

4. take a walk

5. blog

Coming in for the final landing

Ode to Walter Cronkite. That voice. That stoic face. That presence. That secure feeling he produced. That history. That legacy.

Copacetic

His muscles tense and twitch in a slow rhythm keeping a steady pace with the slight breeze. His eyes big and round stare with a touch of fright and total concentration locked in place. A dog barks incessantly on the next street over. A car horn toots several times, tires squeal and the sound of metal crushing into metal fills the air. Far in the distance a siren wails, moving closer.

The engine of a lawn mover sputters to silence. A storm door creaks the hum of a heat pump and the roar of a chainsaw become melodies of the day. A lone wind chime tinkles in the breeze. The sprinkler hisses fast sending spurts of water droplets across the newly mown grass.

His ears now are arched toward the back of his head his nostrils flare ever so slightly. The grayness of the chain link fence melds into the dusk settling in for the evening. Little black hairs rise along his spine. A low soft growl leaks.

His paw reaches quickly and makes one slash through the rectangle in the chain link fence.
A small gray tabby returns the slap. Muscles twitching and whiskers flinching the fight drags on. Slow, methodical without the intensity or harm. It’s more like a warning or a threat. You stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine, guarding ones territory with the protection of the fence. Playing, teasing and testing knowing they are safe and secure behind the security wall.

The black cat shakes his head and lumbers under the shade of a mimosa tree. He lays partially hidden in the tangles of the unkempt flowers. The gray tabby paces along the fence searching for his foe with the fence shielding them from danger separating them from hostilities.
Darkness spills into the yard as the sun disappears for the day as both felines with their confidence waning dash for a safer place.

Purveyor of Lost Thoughts

I'm not that touchy-feely sort of person - especially from strangers. This morning I walked to the corner to buy a paper from the corner paper hawker. I walk to the corner because I have been robbed too many times from the paper dispenser right around the corner from my house. So, I now boycott the paper dispense thief. The extra walk does me good. I always take the dog just in case there is a human robber ready to steal my four quarters from me.

I get to the corner and - behold - a new paper hawker. They do not seem to last very long, hhhmmm, I wonder why? Selling papers from a street corner is not a lifelong career. I hold up my hand to this new fella and he struts over to me and the dog - separated by a big metal railing. He makes small talk about the dog and I pull his leash away from him. Big boy - Ron is not a friendly chap - especially with strangers. Some people just don't get this about dogs. I tell them he's not stranger friendly and they make a stupid comment about all dogs liking them. Well my friend this dog doesn't like people and he will bite.

I hold out my four quarters to drop in the hawkers hand and he grasps my fingers and clutches them. Creepy. If I act concerned or frightened the Ronster man will notice and be on alert. If I scream he will attack. It's nice to have a protector at your side when paper hawkers are fondling your fingers. I do not want a lawsuit brought against me for a vicious dog.

I pull my hand back out of the paper hawkers grip of death and leave it dangling at my side. As soon as I get home I put on massive amounts of germicide and wash both hands with anti-bacterial soap and them rinse them in bleach. My creep out of the day.

10 Places to Visit

10 places I have visited in the last 30 days.

1. Arches National Park in Utah. The scenery, the hiking and connecting with nature were awesome.

2. Canyonlands National Park in Utah. Standing in such vastness is overwhelming.

3. Dead Horse Point State Park in Utah. History was interesting and the colors were off the color chart.

4. Hole in the Rock in Utah. A very upscale tacky tourist trap. Great sculptures and a two story outhouse - what more can one ask for?

5. Park City in Utah. Stunning.

6. Tangier Island in Virginia. A wonderful ferry ride in the Chesapeake Bay to an island lost in time.

7. Pratts Falls in New York. A hidden gem right out in the open.

8. Chittenango Falls State Park in New York. Very much like its neighbor Pratts Falls.

9. Herkimer Diamond Mines in New York. A rose by any other name would be called a crystal.

10. Currituck Sound in North Carolina. A little bit of heaven, miles of shoreline and lots of mosquitos.

Ten awesome places that are permanently etched in my ramblin soul.

Panorama Point

For the past several weeks I have been wallowing in the deep dark pit of despair. Woe is me. Sometimes that just happens and you need to go with the flow. I'm over that black abyss and am climbing as fast as I can up those slippery slopes to reach the sunlight.
It rained really, really, really hard last night. We desperately need the rain - now we are getting out of that deep dark pit of drought.
Utah was my savior in the bleak times. Surrounded every day by beauty and new experiences. Awesome! I am now a confirmed ATV rider. Done that - had fun - checked it off my list and probably won't do that again. I have so many escapades checked off my list but then I keep adding new ones. I climbed a mile and a half straight up into the heavens to view Delicate Arch. Absolutely worth every painful breath, muscle ache and fear of heights. Check that off my list of things to do before I die. I might even attempt that journey again.
Utah inspired me with her beauty and quiet. Now, I shall hike the Appalachian trail - no not Argentina on Father's Day. My bags are packed I'm ready to go - not leaving on a jet plane but do know when I'll be back again.
This time the over sized suitcase is packed to its bursting point with no airline restrictions cuz that big boy is going in the back of the truck. My life is rather like Balanced Rock - looking like it will tip over with a small puff of wind but in reality planted firmly in the bedrock. And I can see life and all of her wonders from Panorama Point.

Jon & Kate Plus 8

Jon and Kate plus 8 minus 2 divided by 4 equals = cancelled show, battered egos, caustic accusations with reality banging at your back door. Who suffers? The children.
I have no sympathy or empathy for Jon and Kate. I have overwhelming sadness for the children.
Is this greed and the American Dream, exploitaion and degeneration? It's similar to winning the lottery. One cannot comprehend the pressures that comes with instant fame and fortune so they go over the edge into oblivian - that dark abyss of selfishness.
It's not all about me-me-me. Others are involved.
Still if given the oportunity I too would go for the money. $75,000.00 an episode is not hard to accept. Strange and bizarre world in which we live.
The merry go round has ceased to play the melody. The roller coaster has jumped the track. And the twirling teacups have agravated my motion sickness.

In the name of Progress

We painted the coping of our pool a cool blue, actually hubby painted it he's good at that sort of thing - but I did suggest the color. It's a baby blue-sky blue- robins egg blue - very tropical and goes with our decor. Our decor being freebies from friends and tables bought on clearance but who is keeping track. In my opinion it's eclectic-tropical-country.
So the coping looks wonderful but is in sad contrast to the decking. So the decking got painted by hubby and once again I picked out the color. I'm good at that sort of thing.
Then real quick like it became dirty and disgusting looking. That sky blue now looked like a hurricane sky. So we repainted it again, actually hubby painted and I supervised, I'm good at that. And at my suggestion we put a clear sealer over all the painted surfaces, Hubby did a wonderful job. He's good at that sort of stuff. The area was all bright and shiny and slippery.
I let everyone know to be careful because the decking and the coping was very-very slippery and I didn't want anyone falling and getting hurt. So the first casualty was - guess who? Me. I went slip-sliding away right over the edge into the pool. It was kind of okay because I did have on my bathing suit and my intent was to take a dip just not so fast and hard. I hit my knee on the edge of the pool and it hurt like hull.
Still is aching today but I will survive. I just get so annoyed with myself when I become the victim. Hopefully all have learned a lesson at my expense. And the pool does look lovely.

5 Ways To Go GREEN

For whatever reason you are still stuck with your gas guzzling, non-hybrid regular car, truck, minivan or SUV - do not fret - you can still go GREEN. It just takes a little more creativity.

5 Ways to go GREEN with your old clunker.

1. Instead of driving your children to school - walk with them or ride bikes. Not only are you helping to save the environment but you are getting healthy and bonding with those little darlings.

2. Make one trip per day instead of three or four.

3. Walk to places if at all possible.

4. Ride the bus.

5.Car pool with neighbors to the grocery store or the mall.

5 - Easy steps to stay GREEN with a vehicle that does not conform with today's dire economy and global awareness.

Old Dog New Tricks

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Are men so like dogs? I purchased one of those dog clickers once for the dog and it didn't seem to work so I tried it on the spouse. Guess what? It ignited his attention. He's not as young as he used to be but the clicker was a learning experience. So maybe perhaps - just a possibility you can teach an old dog new tricks and that philosophy can be applied to spouses. Don't let them know you're treating them like a dog.

I read this dating article about animal tricks and men. How you can use the same animals tricks (learning techniques) on humans. http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24307/dating-advice-6-ways-to-train-your-boyfriend;_ylc=X3oDMTN1anJtaW43BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjE0MjI5NzEzNARrAzYgV2F5cyB0byBUcmFpbiBZb3VyIEJveWZyaWVuZARzZWMDZnBfdG9kYXkEc2xrA2RhdGluZy1hZHZpY2UtNi13YXlzLXRvLXRyYWluLXlvdXItYm95ZnJpZW5kBHp6A2FiYw--

Not that I'm dating - way past that jungle but it should be applicable to spouses. Right. Shall I try it? Shall we all try it? I'm going to search for that dog clicker I purchased and give it another try. Or perhaps I could try the Dog Whisperer way and straighten him out. Actually the old guy doesn't need any straightening out - he's fine the way he is. Maybe I'll place a bone beneath his pillow or his favorite toy the red heart.

Happy Father's Day sweetie!!!!!

XOX

Green with Envy

I'm always on the lookout for a bargain and the clearance rack gets me every time. Last December I was in dire need of a new suitcase. My old suitcases - black - like 99 % of the rest of the traveling world was disintegrating. Why is that? To fix this potential suitcase lookalike issue I used yellow duct tape and wrapped it around my suitcases. They stuck out like redneck luggage as they spun around on that baggage carousel. They did need to be replaced as all the plastic inside broke into tiny little pieces. Every time I opened the suitcase little black plastic pieces fell out.
Time to get a new suitcase and one that wasn't black like 99 % of the rest of frequent fliers. It was after the holidays and the sales were fantastic. I found a lovely (large) green suitcase. 75% off...wow.
I paid for that baby and went right out the door to go home and toss out that old relic with the yellow duct tape. The big green machine has sat silently in my closet until the summer trip. Delta airlines charges $15.00 per bag. What can you do? So I packed the new large green traveling bag and then tried to lift her. Couldn't.
I do a little research on the Delta Airline site and find out about baggage weight restrictions. 50 pounds. And then right there in bold print are the size regulations. What? Suitcases need to conform to a specific size? I got out the trusty measuring tape and - too big. My suitcase exceeded the regulation size by one inch. I was hoping the clerks were not too good in math calculations.
I then proceeded to take the hulking heavy mass to the grocery store to weigh the beast. She weighed in at 48 pounds. Whew - what a relief. But that does mean NOTHING comes back from the trip in my new green carpetbagger.
So, did the store know that the suitcase did not meet the size standards set by the airlines? Was that why the large green suitcase was 75% off?

Is it Cotton?

Being the Florida girl that I am I was taken aback - all the way back in my very small plane seat when I saw the mountains leaping up into the blue sky. Plane seats are getting smaller or I am getting bigger. Most likely a little of both. It was a long uncomfortable ride from Florida to Utah and then I saw the mountains as the plane began descending into Salt Lake City.

The mountains were massive and dark except for the funny looking white stuff covering the tops. I haven't witnesses that white powdery stuff since I left the north in my dust many years ago. I've been to Utah before 'in the summer' and never saw the powdered sugar. So, this sight thrilled me and sent me over the edge of my very small compact uncomfortable plane seat. Not too far to go off the plane seat because you are basically nose to back of the seat in front of you.

The journey begins with a little of the white stuff, actually it seems like a lot of white stuff to spice up our adventure. I'm sure I can hike through that cold white stuff in my Florida flip-flops.
Enough of the white stuff tale it's time to hit the bottom slopes far away from the white stuff. I did pack a very thin jacket. Arches here we come. YEHAW!!!!!

The Long Hot Summer

Around the neighborhood the ‘Long Hot Summer’ seems to have come early with ‘The Heat Of The Night.’ Actually it cools off at night but the phenomenon is taking place during the day. Must be that tempers are flaring, tension is bubbling over and stress is slithering along the fence rails.

In this little quiet cul-de-sac something or someone (I believe) is tampering with our drinking water or our emotions. The long hot summer has officially not even started. Perhaps the downward spiral of the economy is affecting our relationships. Right now I can count (on my fingers) the neighbors who are succumbing to the long hot summer in the heat of the night that is really during the day. The number 6 comes to mind including our household.

I have been trying to run through the house shutting all doors and windows so the dirty laundry is not aired for public views. Sometimes it’s too late and the words seep out across the ‘hood’. That would be ‘neighborhood.’ So last night the house catty-corner to ours which is usually quiet erupted with verbal assaults. I tried to listen but couldn’t get close enough to the fence without being seen. Not that I really want to know. Well maybe. Maybe this is mass hysteria taking over. They hear us in our LOUD discussion with the kid so they jump on the band wagon and want their piece of the pie.

Today, they are going at it again. Presumably the dirty laundry was not completed last night. I wonder where that phrase derived from. Hanging out the dirty laundry for all to see. I mean you hang out clean laundry not dirty laundry. Not that we are allowed to have clothes lines in our neighborhood. It’s upscale - no outside clotheslines.

If the whole hood started their Long Hot Summer episodes it may become a reality television show. We have the 6 households with loud voices, one with a little yappy dog, one with two big yappy dogs, our yappy dog, the drunk who drives on the sidewalk, the drummer who beats to his own drum add in a 90 year old that still drives her car (stay out of her way) the grandfather raising his grandchildren, the landscaper and his illegally parked trucks and his roaming bees, the couple going through a divorce ( not a pretty sight) and those renters around the corner we could have a hit reality show. We could call it ‘In the heat of the long hot summer day.’

ILL Fated Romance

This is the story of Anole Grey and his paramour. I named him Anola Grey after the airplane Enola Grey and then I found out it's a name of a rock group. Whatever! Why I saw a connection between him and an airplane is beyond normal thoughts. Anyways, his paramour is nameless as I believe he has had more than one. Possibly any cutie that will swish her tail becomes his sought after lady in waiting.

Florida is home to gazillions of geckos, lizards and that Geiko creature on t.v. that talks and is such a handsome dude. I love the one where the CEO hands him a suit. The real name for these critters would be 'Anoles'. There you have it. So in my twisted thoughts I must have related Enola to Anole. The plane having something to do with the speed of these critters, how far they can jump and their perfect landings.

We have this huge screen lanai covering our pool where we spend many of our lazy days in the summer. Mating season for anoles. Things go on in this outside world that are quite amazing. One just needs to pull up a chair sit back and watch the living picture show. Off the subject - but - I found frog poop on the top of the lanai this morning. I haven't a clue as how to remove it. Will have to wait for rain storms.

So I've been watching Anole Grey inside the screened in lanai and his antics trying to pick up dudettes. He rears his little head, switches it up and down and this gross flap of yellow/red skin puffs out from his neck. The ladies seem to love this act of courtship.

Anole lives inside the screened lanai. I'm thinking he does this as it is easy hunting for bugs as they cannot escape. In a world outside of the screened in lanai they can just fly away. Hunting is better in the enclosure. When it comes to his love life things get kind of 'grey.'

His wanna be paramours are on the outside of the screened in lanai. So all of the fluffing up his throat skin comes to not a happy ending. Most frustrating to both parties I presume. Hence, the ill fated romance.

They Shoot Horses Don't They

Dead Horse Point State Park!

The name intrigues me – Dead Horse Point. Not that I like dead horses, dead animals or for that matter anything dead. I can’t even look at the dead spiders on the bottom of the pool. It just has that mystery and drama attached to the name and the way the phonetic sounds roll off the tongue.

My life is riveted with drama so apparently I am drawn to that spectrum and words roll off my tongue. It reminds me of hoof and mouth disease. I’m forever putting my foot in that place. There is never a dull or relaxing moment around here, always something erupting, breaking or a major catastrophe to be handled. So it’s time for me to take a vacation from all the dramatic stuff.

I’ve read about Dead Horse Point and have little red x’s marked on my map of Utah of the places I want to visit. Dead Horse Point State Park is first on my list. Not that I would ever admit to it or even say it or write it but – but – Dead Horse Point sounds more interesting than the Grand Canyon. Ooops. My bad. I know everyone and their brothers’- girlfriends’- sisters’- uncles’- neighbor twice removed wants to view the Grand Canyon but I would rather set my sights on Dead Horse Point. Several years ago I did travel to the north rim of the Grand Canyon so I’m off the hook on that one.

I remember when I toured the Valley of Fire. I wasn’t at all sure what to expect? Perhaps I would be forever trapped in the eternal fires of hell. Not even close to that bizarre thought. The Valley of Fire was awesome beyond my vocabulary. I have no words to describe the beauty I saw there. Photographs work really fantastic when I am at a loss for words.

I’ve done a wee bit of research on the Dead Horse Point expedition but mostly I want to be amazed and find out things by myself. I want to visit this Mecca with an open porous sponge mind. I want everything I see, touch and smell to be a new never before attempted experience. I want my imagination to run rampant among the plateaus and valleys. I don’t want my brain clogged with opinions of others. I want all my senses on overload. Not anxiety panic attack overload just in awe overload.

My bags are packed (not really) I’m ready to go. This catchy tune reminds me of a song. ‘All my bags are packed I’m ready to go. Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane’. The correlation here is John Denver, jet plane and dead. Oh no. Water down those thoughts. Change that obsessive thought to Peter, Paul and Mary.

More silly research and I found out one can download that song as a ring tone to your cell. When my phone rings I will just hum a few bars it’s much cheaper that way.

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

Dead Horse Point - I am ready to be thrilled.

Fried Green Tomatoes

I planted this really cute little garden. Yes, gardens can be cute! It's mostly herbs for my chef spouse. He is always buying fresh herbs at the store and I complain because they are so expensive and he is wasteful. Not that it was his fault that the herbs got wasted. I need to make that perfectly clear!!! So my plan in this downtrodden economy/crisis was to plant a garden.
We have sage, oregano, parsley, chives, tarragon, basil and dill. I didn't want the herbs to feel lonely so I added peppers, squash and two tomato plants. Around the border of the garden I planted marigolds. And in between my cute little plants I have purple potato vines that add a touch of color and artistic creativity to my garden.
My pesticide free organic gardening tool is the flowers. I love marigolds and I have read that they keep the bugs away. Not too sure where I read that piece of information and not too sure it works. It does give the garden an artistic ambience.
My tomatoes blossomed profusely and the buds sprouted lots of green veggies. My Roma tomatoes were developing quite nice and were abundant on my little bush. I tied it gently to the fence because I did not want veggie rot consuming my precious little gems. One day I counted 6 little tomatoes and the very next day - nothing - gone. I had a tomato free zone.
No squashed little morsels lying on the ground or half eaten green tomatoes hanging from the vine. Just gone.
I wondered if there was a tomato thief in the neighborhood. My first suspect was the dog who has been eating the turtle food the minute my back is turned. He's like that consuming everything edible and at times not so edible. He must have a cast iron stomach. Why would he ever so gently remove all the tomatoes off my vines and not leave a mess or cause damage to my cute little garden.
I believe there are other forces working here among us to sabotage my gardening experience. They didn't even wait till they were red and ripe. So, perhaps the tomato theft is some type of cover-up and if any of the neighbors decide to have a community bar-b-que I will decline the offer to attend. I remember the movie - 'Fried Green Tomatoes'.