The Essence of Toilet Paper

My thoughts are in this strange place - kind of like living in the Twilight Zone with Rod Serling as your Mayor. http://www.rodserling.com/

It's all about these reality television programs. Average people (supposedly) with a camera attached to their faces 24/7. And everything documented and played out for the world to see. That is those that wish to watch this t.v. trash. And I am being sooooo judgemental. STOP IT.

I don't even watch it but I see the commercials. People who devour household cleansers and eat toilet paper. Get real. I mean if you want more fiber in your diet eat leaves. Some things should truly be kept behind closed doors. The fact that you have piles of useless trash overtaking your house just makes me wonder about your mental condition.

And then the animal hoarders. EEECCCKKK. I hate the smell of cat urine from just one feline and I change the litter box weekly. I even bought the new corn kitty litter. Now if you're needing fiber in your diet try the corn kitty litter instead of toilet paper - 50 cats in one house with no litter box. My stomach is tossing and I can smell the smell right through the television. Well, I guess that is reality t.v.

In my younger days - not that I am old - well just a little - no make that not at all. Bizarre actions like eating toilet paper would certainly be kept behind closed doors. We would never let the neighbors know - let alone the whole nation. It would be something kept within the family.

Then, I think of how I could cash in on a reality television show - grow rich and unfamous and become a celebrity. What is it about my life that people would want to watch? Not much that is interesting or bizarre. Well there was the time I put those googly-eyes on my kumquat and took a picture of it for a contest. Where is the drama in that?

I talk to my animals but I do believe that is on the normal side. And if I did have a great story to be turned into a reality television program would I want the world to see? Probably not. The really scaring part of life is that the Balloon Boy has moved to Florida. These wanna be reality stars are taking over the world. I wonder if they are aliens disguised as humans?

I wonder if they eat single ply or double ply toilet paper? And does it roll forward or backwards. I let my toilet paper roll forward and I love folding it to a point after every use like they do in some fancy hotels. Next I will put a piece of chocolate on my pillow every night. That sounds good - eating chocolate every night much better than eating toilet paper.

What ever happened to colored toilet paper? If your favorite color was blue you could eat blue toilet paper. And perhaps after eating enough of that stuff you could audition to be in the Blue Man Group.

Distance

Is there that thin slice of time when dreams swirl with reality and melt? Where red and blue become purple. Are those feelings and sensations a product of the here and now or just a cloud passing over the land of what might be?

Reaching out to touch and finding immobility washing over the body and mind. Surrounded by the desire to validate perceptions and roll to a different drummer with the sounds playing a gentle earthy rhythm.

Eyes are tightly shut surveying a vast empty field overflowing with colors colliding with fog. The soft sounds and the movement of air wrap around as if smothering and at the same time dripping a rainfall of peace. Which way to go?

Am I lost and confused in my dream world or facing life with a jar full of bitterness and bliss? If this is real why does my body lay motionless? In a silent wait for what is to come. Directions are blurred. Open those eyes and get on with life.

It must have been a dream or perhaps a nightmare that grabbed my being and spun me around - pricking my sleeping senses of the pain in the world transferred to myself. How ? I ask can a dream mix with reality and stain the soul? Like a tiny sand spur breaking through skin - tuff as leather and causing a limp to last for days. The art of life and living melting red into yellow and changing to orange.

Reality Bites

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson are trying to get a reality television program. HHHMMM. Who cares? It seems like everyone except for me is getting a reality t.v. program, making mega bucks and riding off into the sunset with their saddle bags full of money. What about me? Whahhhh. I mean really - will people turn on the television and watch these two? What can be so interesting about their life? A couple of snot nosed kids and both have wacko mothers.

Yes, there may be a little drama in their public life but that's already in all the magazines. If we want to know what smut is going on just go to the grocery store and read the tabloid headlines as you waiting for the line to move.

Now that would be a good reality television program - the crap that goes on in a grocery store. Lots of material there. And then there is my life - overflowing with drama and suspense. Why doesn't Hollywood approach me?

But would I want a camera in my face when I roll out of bed in the morning? NO! Or filming me while taking a bath with a cast on my foot hanging over the side of the tub trying not to get it wet. They could get some good clips when my klutziness kicks in. there was the time I ran face first into the sliding glass doors. They could have animated the stars that I saw. I have never sent any of my children up in the air in a homemade hot air balloon - but it's worth a try. Aliens do come down to visit me occasionally.