Fairy Tales do come true

Life all by itself can be a rough road to traverse. Detours, unsavory conditions, stressers, financial woes, despair, road blocks, issues and let us not forget the family. So following the path of life without any stumbles can be at times difficult and traumatic. Such as what happened to me this very morning on my road in life: reality of living life jumped up and hit me smack in the face. Actually it didn't hit me in the face but the reaction snarled across my face.

Florida can be wonderful, quiet, hot, peaceful, relaxing and somewhat like traveling in a dangerous jungle. Take my backyard as an example - it's full of weeds - can't grow any grass here. The water restrictions puts a damper on growing lush green grass and then the heat burns it to a crispy long forgotten corn field. Not that we can grow corn in our backyard. We grow weeds pretty good and not the weeds you smoke. I think that cash crop does well in California. This is Florida - the land of the sand spurs.

Now if sand spurs was a cash crop or illegal - we would be right on the money!!! But NO - sand spurs are not profitable or fun. They are a pain in the tush or to be exact a pain in the privates. So this morning my world such as it is - crashed. Crashed by a sand spur. One deadly-nasty-ugly-hurtful-tiny little bugger that sets the world on fire. Not flames and fire but a stabbing fire that sears right through the skin directly to all of your tender zones. And these little buggers are smaller than a pea. Which reminds me of the fairy tale about the princess and the pea with of course the evil step mother or mother-in-law. Fairy tales kind of lump togeter all motherly females as evil characters. What's that all about?

Now, everything is clearer since I have brought back memories of the fairy tale - The Princess and the Pea. She couldn't sleep due to ONE pea placed under a gazillion mattresses which really means she is a true princess because she can still feel the pain of the pea beneath all those mattresses. Her true identity resolved she can now marry the Prince possibly live happily ever after with that witch of a mother-in-law.

I know I am not even close to princess material so that is why I am confused that one little-tiny-teeny sand spur could cause me so much pain and trauma. And how did that little bitty bugger get stuck in my undies? Try walking around with a sand spur in your silkies. I wonder if some evil character put this deadly prickly devise in my unmentionables? Perhaps I really am a Princess......but I will never kiss a frog.

Every morning I do my power walk through the neighborhood. It's cheaper than the gym - much cheaper. Actually it's FREE - lucky me. I do have to force myself every morning - rain, heat or shine. At times my motivation level is equal with the road drains.

So off I go this morning in my $125.00 dollar sneakers. They are so comfy - it's like walking on the beach at Siesta Key. I get a few blocks from the house and I feel a tiny tiny pebble in my left foot. Does this mean I'm a Princess because I can feel such a tiny obstacle placed in my shoe most likely by the wicked stepmother of the charming Prince? Oh wait, she placed a pea under a zillion mattresses.

The minuscule object is annoying and uncomfortable. What to do? Go back home? That sounds like a plan. No - be strong I say to no one as I walk alone. I hop on one foot to dislodge the particle. It's probably a grain of sand. That would definitely make me a real live Princess. The hop don't work!

I give my foot a severe kick out to the left. Not a good move. I do a fancy footwork dance down the sidewalk. I'm hoping no one is watching this spectacle. I do the toe walk - then the heel walk. If only there were a bench. I look at the sidewalk. If I sit down to dislodge the perpetrator - will I be able to get back up? HHHMMM!!!! I proceed in discomfort.

Now it feels like the particle is growing. I start to hop and kick at the same time. These are dangerous moves for someone as uncoordinated as me. I see a large palm tree and lean in against the massive trunk. I reach down to remove the shoe and slip slowly face first into the sidewalk. Ouch. The shoe goes flying though the air and deposits itself at the edge of the road drain. I think I can crawl and reach in and grab it. I hear the crunch of tires and see a blur of black pass by. It's Wednesday and it's trash day and the haulers are late and in a hurry to finish the route and they don't see my shoe laying precariously close to the edge of the drain by the side of the road. SMACK. Right over my $125.00 dollar shoe sending it into the bowels of the earth.


I limp back home - one shoe on one shoe lost to the underworld. I look for the gilded carriage to come by to save me a Princess in distress. Or at least one of the seven dwarfs to assist me. At this point I would be glad to see the troll who lives under the bridge around the corner. There is no rescue for me.