Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Yesterday, I was rad racing my way to work a little behind schedule and still in that morning mind fog. Lots of pressure, stress and unfortunate circumstances not so unlike Lemony Snickets issues were filling my fragmented thoughts.
For reason beyond my control I reached up with my right hand and touched my chin which at that precise moment reminded me of 'that' thinker statue. Or one of the three monkey see-monkey do - statues. Thinking so early in the morning causes me brain freezes.
At that moment in time the tips of my fingers felt it. Chin hair stubble and not the 5 o'clock shadow that is so hot looking today. Hot looking if you are a twenty-something male but not an over the hill Goddess of the Moon.
I looked at my hairy mass in the rear view mirror and screamed in horror. This caused the said vehicle to swerve a tiny little bit from the right hand side of Moon Lake Road. Definitely not my error in judgement - those pesky vehicles. I removed my hand from the offending HUGE mutant black hair mass protruding from my chin and was fraught with 'what to do'.
I'm too late to turn around and head back home to remove the said perpetrator from my chin. I yanked at the wiry black object with no success. Swerving again - I looked for those white cars with the blue lights on top. None were in sight - good for me.
I could walk around all day with my hand plastered to my chin and perhaps no one would notice. It's so difficult working one handed. I could stop at the grocery store and buy some tweezers and eradicate the little wiry sucker myself but I forgot my purse. It's that morning mind fog issue and running late - it'll get you every time. Brain freeze begins to un-thaw and I remember my drivers license is in the purse.
I look around for more of those suspicious white cars with the blue lights on top. The brain freeze has completely un-thawed and is now fast approaching and is now nearing the meltdown. How long has this inch long mutant black wiry appendage been protruding from my chin? It certainly did not pop out overnight. Who knows it could have been protruding for eons for all the fashion statement police to see and whisper about behind my back. This is more worser than falling off that bar stool before drinking.
I'll huff and I'll puff (asthma) and be out of breathe for the remainder of the day still obsessing over that mutant chin hair.