How To Clean an Oven

The joys of oven cleaning - gone bad. I now understand why people buy self-cleaning ovens. But the kicker is you need to turn them on. No mess, no fuss, no kitchen fires. I do believe I need to adjust my house cleaning schedule.

Company was soon to arrive so I did a pre spring clean of the house. I washed the curtains, cleaned the microwave (it's white inside) and dusted all of the picture frames. I tackled the kitchen like one of those Merry Maids, giggling and happy running around dancing with a dustmop.

I opened the oven door - oh my! I tried to remember when the old girl was last cleaned? HHHmmmmm maybe never? Something or someone lived on the bottom of my oven. It was big and crusty and dark. I flipped on the CLEAN switch and locked tight the oven door. Soon - very soon smoke started billowing from the cracks. I pulled out the fans and set them up and opened the kitchen window. I'll just blow all that nasty smoke right outside.

Smoke filled the kitchen and I searched for more fans and opened all the doors. Smoke was pouring out the kitchen window - OMG what if someone calls the fire department? That's when I noticed the flames. Swirling behind the glass oven door. Must be the gunk on the bottom of the oven. A little burn off - not a problem. The flames grew more intense and crept out the bottom of the oven and out the burners. Panic sets in. I've set the oven on fire. What to do? What to do?

I'm wondering why none of the smoke alarms have not gone off. Oh, yeah they need batteries. I turn off the CLEAN button on the oven and turn the fans on high. Oh the stink. People are congregating on my front lawn. I yell that everything is under control. They disperse shaking their heads. Probably thinking the fool should clean her oven a regular basis - and I will - when I get a new self-cleaning oven. Seems like the flames did major damage to the inside of the oven and the elements.

Hubby says, "If you really wanted a new store, why didn't you just buy one? You didn't need to set this one on fire."